Strong Relationships with Andre Paradis

ome off

of level this is George G and the time is right welcome today’s guest is Dr. Powerful Andre Parodi Andre How are you ready to do this? While we wait to do this? Yes, wait is born ready? That’s it Oh, Andre as a relationship coach and NLP practitioner and coach, educator of effective communication author speaker Minister I’m excited to have you on Andrea tell folder by your personal lives more about your work and why you do what you do. Man so

Andre Paradis 0:42
just a real quick background I’ve always my brain that was born of the brain that’s inquisitive. It wants to know everything like everything is ridiculous like curious about life curious about people curious about

you know if you know something that I don’t know I’m gonna sit with you go what do you got? What you got? What do you got what you got all the details in the morning I just I’m a learner, I just can’t get enough. I wanted to know everything. So that’s my brain. My as a as a young kid I was born in a family with felt that we just talked about this, you and I that I felt I was born in the wrong place. But I also feel that he was born in the wrong family. These people were not my people. They didn’t like me, I didn’t like him. We just was not grooving. It’s very strange to feel like you’re born in the wrong family. Now, that all came to me at five, when I could actually put my thoughts and my feelings that I had. I was born. I don’t belong here.

These are my people like, ouch, right? Like five years old. I’m on my own. But what happened with this and my

all wanting to, to know brain? That was my temperament is I started watching people, I wanted to watch people, how is this possible first, for this to be? But then when I got to school watching people, the more and the more different somebody aware was the more curious I was and I started became I became fascinated very, very early since then, with the human condition. So all of that leads into all kinds of lines of information with because I’m a researcher, I think a musician, a geek, I research a research like this, I am so I have

And at one point, I tripped over I’ve always taken personal development workshops. Since I was 23 years old, it’s just been another as a way of learning. So whether it was for business, money, personal growth, like everything, just come everything’s personal as well take a business workshop, it goes right down to how you feel about money, what you think you could produce and all the self belief right? So fast it and 2006 I’m invited because I was a workshop head and everybody knows a workshop here and in Los Angeles is a community of workshop heads that you find the same people everywhere. I was invited

my reaction now you have to understand a little background for me is I’ve always looked like this. I was a commercial dancer. You know I work Michael Jackson that with the prince Paul Abdul Iglesias, you know, whatever. So I lived a life of artists in Los Angeles and worked with the big big guys so

Unknown Speaker 4:09
there was ease and ease of the ladies as put it this way as an artist but also successful artists there I mean, I have never I’ve always attracted sweet women I never attracted the Cray crazy work like the stuff that my friends would do whether we’re crazy, destroy this new destructive relationship screaming and just tearing each other apart. I never did this I was always attracted sweet women. You mean my wife? You go Ah, wow. Like just you just see. Like she’s, you know, her essence. So that was always my life with women. So you’re going to take me to a workshop called understand women Mo. Like really? Like, really? Like, with no arrogance more like,

george grombacher 4:50
am I going to be teaching this workshop? I know.

Unknown Speaker 4:53
Kinda so. So when and they’re sort of backwards because they committed but I’m like really? Am I today? Okay. But when I got there, it was the Airport Hotel in Los Angeles here. And I walked in the room, there was 400 people in the room. And I just exactly, I went like, oh, something’s going on here. This is not cute. This is not going to be whatever the thought I had this, there’s something going on here, there’s something is about to happen here. And sure enough, at the end of the workshop, my brain was all over the wall. They just, like destroyed like I, the guy who had an ease with the ladies and women, the guy who tried to sweep women do not do drama very much with women. But then I’m married have a baby and toddler, then my wife is my angel. But I realized that they do nothing about women, nothing like nah, then, and then that means that that also meant that I knew nothing about my wife. And I found that I found that extremely dangerous, extremely scary, you know, to think that I may destroy a relationship or damaged relationship, or we might not make it or become a statistic as I didn’t know, me. Right? There goes my brain. Like, I need to know this, because I have something at stake here. All my brothers and sisters are married, divorced twice, three times. Once on number four, I have my baby girl, my angel is with me, we have kids together, I’m not going to chant this, cross my fingers hoping that we work it out. So of course, I jumped into the company, his entire curriculum, I took everything that I have to offer everything. Within a year plus, I became a workshop leader for them. I’m a teacher at heart. I’ve always been as a dancer, choreographer, right? I’m a teacher. So that was a no brainer. It turned out it didn’t turn out with that company, just like politically it was too much, whatever. But that was how my whole life started. You know, from there, I kept I kept studying because I wanted more. So Dr. John Gray, Mars and Venus, you know, Dr. Esther Parral, who’s not famous, he wasn’t at the time, you know, out of New York City. So she teaches about intimacy and, and in sex, and why people like everybody they mastered, studied with they’re all have a specialty in the wealth of relationship. Shaunti Feldhahn in the south is a big portion of like the dynamic of love and respect with men and women that we don’t understand. And then it here in Los Angeles started, Pat Allen, who’s a family child, marriage therapist for 45 years, actually trained people who feel so I’m not a therapist, I’m trained by therapists and many more. We call it certifications and NLP linguists. I have a book with all the certificates that I have so much straining, but these five masters really worth the base of my work with my own research show that when you talk about relationship dynamics, we talk about relationship.

Unknown Speaker 8:09
Now to build a healthy relationship, I could teach you with five different angles, the cocktail of information that I have, I think is without any arrogance isn’t touchable. So that is my life. That is now my full time wife, I teach men and women one on one or in a group, or in couples settings, or small group setting. You know, all the ins and outs of healthy. I call it dance. If you look behind me, this is me my wife, ballroom dancing. That’s our lives. That was my life. As a teenager, I started ballroom dancing into jazz dancing. But the metaphors for dancing in relationships are fantastic, right? Like these two people aren’t doing the same thing. These two people are not bringing the same thing to the table right for a couple to look so effortlessly gliding across the floor. There’s a they’re actually in exactly in opposition. She’s doing everything he’s doing but backwards in high heels and long dress like that’s a different challenge. Right? He has to lead yet he can’t over lead her because it might hurt her she has to be vulnerable this lead at the same time. You know, she’s vulnerable to lead which be she has to trust that he won’t spinner to a wall or a table or another couple. So the dynamic and a couple of dancing is very, very similar to what I teach now and that’s my whole life is how do we get this in sync? How do we this this the work right? This to peep people coming together to create dance. That’s the relationship is a new entity. It’s not me and you it’s us. Right? And in our culture, we don’t teach this anymore. We never really have but back then, because everything was more congruent with building a family. You know and stepping into society as you know couple having kids and try to steady life so the kids would go healthy and balanced. But we don’t do that anymore. We kind of devalue this. So now we’re not coming together where I call it disco dancing. Instead of ballroom dancing, we just go dancing. Right, we come together, we move together. But nobody shows the bills. Nobody really wants to get committed. Nobody wants to, you know, in case of divorce, and we’re gonna test the relationship. But in that is never a commitment. There’s never a dance, you never step on the dance floor together, you never get to do this. And step on each other’s toes and learn to communicate. So the things collide, and it becomes this beautiful dance. Right? When you see ballroom couples slide across the dance floor with such ease, it looks effortless. Well, there’s a lot of practice there. They had to learn this, you know, and, you know, she stepped on his toes. And you know, when his lead lead was too soft, you get the elbows to the face happened to me, or the knee to the groin happened to me, right? If I’m not sure she’s gonna take it naturally. Exact same thing in relationships. And it’s not that one leads 100% follows 100% That’s the difference between a dance couple, and real life. It’s which bring which part? Do you bring the most that you want to bring the most? It’s more natural to you and respond to she and all the negotiating and the little details in between. It’s not rigid. It’s not black and white. It’s not men, women. It’s the coming together. And all the pieces are negotiable. Oh, I’m sorry, there was no, I love it.

george grombacher 11:28
I think that I think that metaphor is just absolutely perfect. And I appreciate you sharing the story about you know, being a super confident person in your relationships, women, and then having your eyes open with Wow, it’s just kind of scratching the surface. And then the idea that relationship is like ballroom dancing, where I independently need to know how to dance. But more importantly, I need to be able to dance with this other person. But where we’re at today is like disco dancing, where so many people know how to dance independently, but have very, very little knowledge or regard for being able to dance with with their partner. Why? Why has that happened? And is that something we want?

Unknown Speaker 12:14
Well, it’s, you know, it started with the feminist movement back, you know, in the 60s and early 70s, the idea of, you know, given women choices, right, because it’s interesting, because there has always been focused on the women suffering in the limitation of life, but men that, you know, back those days, for millennia, there was no option. You know, there was no option. Women were mothers and wives and man just went to work. Now, you know, if you have no choice, it all sucks. But both sides. There have been like, a lot of men obviously want to work 60 hour weeks, just to come home and be strangers to their family, strangers to their kids. You know, like, all they could do is mow the lawn and say hi to the neighbors have a beer and try to just chill out on Monday, like, you know, but that’s not, you know, it’s not glamorous, you know, and raising kids is the hardest job in the world. It’s not glamorous, it’s there and from the diapers to the exhaustion to the time that it takes. So there was no choices. Okay, that’s suck so now we decided to liberate ourselves from choice. Religion kept people in line during the fear of God so people would like to straighten up. Now that’s that’s in itself good, but it got over the top. So people resisted down, they wanted some freedom, they want some choices. They didn’t want to go to hell for everything that they thought about it. Did I get it, I get it. So it started with this they kind of loosening up all these limiting things. women’s roles, man’s role, the religious role, government role, like all so we start pushing back. So originally, the feminist movement is about, you know, giving women choices. You have now choices, you could be a mom or you go to work, you could build a career, you have a credit card, blah, blah, blah, right? All great stuff. Except it didn’t stop. When from the 70s and the 80s became more of a machine of like, you know, get financially ahead first. And they kept pushy in the 90s. And so now women have no choice anymore. If you talk to them, they have no choice. They complain to this about me all the time. Now they cannot say out loud. My assistant is a young millennial. She’s 27 years old. She wants babies but she can’t say that out loud. To her friends they attack her right though so now there’s no choice the choice is badass boss babe you know don’t eat no man go girl. Right that is a problem because it even worse if I want to take it all the way this is not pretty. I’m sorry. We’re going to find a way to lighten this up. But this is heavy. No needed we now women have to be super women, which nobody could do. This supposed to be CEOs and have family kids has been everybody’s happy. None of them it’s impossible. The ones who do this are not happy, they’re burnt out, they come to me with I don’t understand, I should be happy that I’m actually miserable. I don’t why I am. You know, my my kids miss out, my family misses out my business misses out and just write interesting. So women judge themselves for not be able to have it all do it all Superwoman, which is possible. And on the flip side, we actually push the agenda that men are toxic, that we don’t need men that men need to be more like girls into more sensitive, vulnerable, talkative, sweet kind, but that’s not really working either, is it? And if you’re gonna make half the play, toxic, you know, to start with, how is any of this going to work. So this is where it all came and done, right? We went too far. On both sides, we try to feminize men, we have feminized men, we haven’t, you know, completely passive, and they will wonder why they want one or the one feel safe. And we haven’t met women so masculine, and men, Real men don’t have any to do with them. This, again, we took a count as we took a system where men and women are so very different beings, right? Equally important with different beings, you know, motivated by different things, like different things, or, you know, like to produce different things like, you know, we’re just what I think is exciting. My wife goes really well, this is where she, this is really gonna go, wow. Like, I’m gonna fall asleep, you know, we made to be different, we actually made to be complimentary is exactly the point. So if we take that, for what it is, oh, by the way, everything I’m teaching is nature and science is that my opinion, is nature. Right? Men and women are different, but come together to create something bigger, better than me. But if, but in nature on its own, a woman is very different than a man. And a man is very fond of a woman genetically chemically, right? Every species on the planet, there’s the male and female is completely different. Again, complimentary, not equal, right, have different roles, different purpose.

Unknown Speaker 17:15
That dance is naturally already difficult between them women, you know, because we misunderstand each other all the time, because we’re different machine. So now we decided to, knowingly, this is a difficult now what we did is we did this we flip the script, and we think we’re going to come together, like backwards, you know, it’s impossible. And this is where we’re at. This is what happened in the name of equality, the name of making the playing field even the sounds good. That sounds fair. I know it started. It just went too far. Now nothing’s working. Give this in a time in history, the entire human history where we all have more choices, we could do whatever the hell we want without religion, culture telling us that to be nothing, no boundaries, nothing anymore, where you know, women have all the choices to hit anything you want. Women there’s a lot of data on this if you research which I do all the time. Women are more miserable now than I’ve ever been an entire history of mankind more unhappy than their mothers, their grandmothers, your great great grandmother’s because what’s demanded of them culturally, you know, is I want to say unnatural and that makes them miserable. Same with men. When you keep men from stepping into the masculine this the masculine you know, essence that makes a terrible person, right? Like the ones that are dangerous, the cheater, the liars, the man who hurt women, the men who hurt society, the men who steal, cheat lie, and that masculine, their exact opposite their feminine, you know, that don’t feel powerful. And that makes them unstable emotionally, that makes them unstable financially, that makes them unstable, energetically edgy, they’re angry, and they lose their shit. You know, at one point and somebody gets hurt this year, so like, you don’t neutralize men and think that makes him by making him passive that makes them less dangerous is the opposite. So, on paper, this whole thing looks fantastic. In reality, in reality is that disaster is a complete disaster. Women don’t like soft men, men don’t like masculine women. You know, people having babies out of wedlock left and right, that doesn’t make for stable healthy children. We know this we need one of each side. So we have children now raised by one parent or no parents who cannot create healthy bonds in the world. So we have this epidemic of safe space and not not having no resilience to anything and not really feeling you know when you can bond emotionally as a baby to somebody, you the life as you grow as teenagers that thing, get this this complete disconnect, and then you can bond with anybody in the rest of your life. This is what we created, this is a huge problem, which is, takes me back to my mission is to really kind of put a dent in that belief system and not go back to the 50s. That’s all what I’m saying, but is in a more modern way to build a life that is healthier for both men and women. Well, that was a long one, I

george grombacher 20:34
love it. And it certainly I think they get that, that absolutely makes sense to me. And whenever we were, we’re now experiencing the effects that you’ve just wonderfully laid out of what just taking the baby and throw it out with the bathwater kind of deal. So the way forward, and I respect and appreciate the mission of, of, of what you’re trying to do. Do you work with single people and couples? And this kind of let’s let’s let’s close out with that conversation about if that’s the case, or who you work with? And how people can can get in touch and engage with you? Sure, absolutely.

Unknown Speaker 21:16
So I work with sick of women who can’t find relationships, and they don’t know why they think is something wrong with them. And there’s nothing wrong with them. They’re just so recalibrated. Ask it as I work with men who don’t know who they are, and have no Mojo for life or depressed, you know what I mean? Because they’ve never stepped into being a male, appropriately, because nobody would teach him with no role model sometimes, or sometimes a shamed out of being masculine. So they get passive, but that just just eats them alive. Slowly. So but also with couples, couples are invested. So they have a lot to lose, especially if they have children. So they can I mean, with, you know, that misunderstanding that happens between men and women. So that’s fantastic. So all of it, really all of it. I get more right now, especially the past few years, much more strong, independent and powerful women who have everything but cannot find a relationship or in a sustainable issue ship or can even get a date. They can’t even get a one date, like lovely, beautiful women who have money career cars, right? But they can’t like nobody’s asking them out any. I know why. If they get a date, the guy says, Yeah, I was lovely, I’ll call you back. And he never calls him like they, they think there’s something wrong with them. They’re, they feel that they’re broken, and they’re not broken at the core, it’s just over calibrated again. It’s always the same thing. So I get those ladies all day long. All day long. So did you have a gift for you listeners, by the way,

george grombacher 22:55
perfect. Let us know what it is. And then and then how people can can reach out and and get in touch with you.

Unknown Speaker 23:03
Beautiful. So my gift is, if any of this resonated with any of your listeners, male or females, and you want to know more about what I do, I’m offering like, what a free call with me completely on me. It’s it’s a call that costs about $400, typically, so it’s an hour, an hour and 15 or so type thing. And basically we go to what’s the problem? What is it that’s not working for you? What is it that you want? And how do we get you there. So whether you work with me, in the end of Nod, because it’s an exploratory call, we’re going to peel the onion into why you’re calibrated where you are. And this goes, this is a deep deep dive into your psyche, but also into your your childhood, every one of us, you know, regardless of your life story, no one gets out of childhood unscathed. We come out with, you know, life kicks our butts. And so between the age of five and 11, we make decisions about ourselves that we’re not good enough or whatever it will be this about ourselves and what we believe about ourselves, the world life and people. And these lenses kind of tint everything from then on. So when we find ourselves stuck 20 years out of childhood 25 In childhood with I always attract bad man I never liked when do you find yourself in a loop? We have to go back to the source. So that call will go right into that. And if nothing else, as we peel the onion, I’ll be able to you’ll discover with me within 20 minutes. I’m really good at this though. What’s the source of your derailment and want to call it or your Why are you so Americanism and wiser feminism. And then so you could look at it for there’s nothing wrong with you. It’s just your life circumstances. Now. That’s liberating that by itself right and you’ll find things out about yourself just in The peeling the onion. And then what do you want to do? You know, we could help you or it’s up to you. But that call alone is a gift and it’s super valuable. The way to get to that call, I have a landing page. If you go to Andre group coaching comm it takes you directly to my calendar. And you would actually book a time in place. That works for you there that’s available. My schedule is nuts. That’s how you do it. My website if you want to poke around me who I am is Project equinox.net, Equinox TQUINO x. The Equinox is a perfect spot between dark and light. See the metaphor here? I thought it was clever. Men and women the balance you see it. So again, dude, I have YouTube videos on there as in blogs and stuff. So you could spend the afternoon on the website. I also have at relation dynamics on Instagram. I have a Facebook page called Project Equinox 100 parody, and also have a I have 1700 Women in this so far. And this is a private so you have to this called dating and relationship insights. There are quite a few. But you know, if you get a hold of me, you can email me at Andre coaching one at Gmail. And I can give you the link if you want to be so it’s a free group, but it’s private. So you have to be admitted in and I post on there all the time every day and I teach in this free stuff. And every three months I do a two day event on on Zoom. So you could jump in that and I guess it didn’t we talked about the other offer. But that’s one way to go and find me in in either book a call and or find some information about my work. Beautiful, knows a lot.

george grombacher 27:05
Okay, just the right amount. Well, if you enjoyed as much as I did, Andrea your appreciation and share today’s show with a friend who also appreciates good ideas. Go to Andre group coaching.com and grab a spot on his calendar for that for that hour hour and 15 minute discovery call. And we’re big fans of getting down to the root of the problem, Andre so I think that that’s great. Go to project Equinox dotnet and check out all the great resources and then I’ll list everything else that Andre mentioned in the notes of the show. Thanks again, Andre. Thank you, Joe. And until next time, keep fighting the good fight. We’re all in this together.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai