Divorce is one of the most stressful times in a person’s life, and there are numerous things to consider. From custody to the dividing of assets to mountains of paperwork, it’s easy to become consumed by the divorce process and completely forget about what comes once the divorce is finalized.
Being mentally and emotionally prepared for your life after divorce is just as crucial as being prepared for the divorce process itself. That’s what Leap Frog Divorce is here for.
We’re your partners in all stages of divorce. And we strongly believe that a collaborative divorce leads to a healthy life after divorce for all parties.
Read on as we discuss common struggles after a divorce and how to overcome them.
ACCEPT THAT YOUR LIFE HAS CHANGED
Friendships and relationships you formed directly through your ex-spouse, interests and hobbies you developed as a couple, your finances—all of these things will change as you adjust to no longer being married.
Even for couples who maintained separate finances, going from two incomes to one is an adjustment newly divorced people need to make. During your divorce proceedings, whether alimony is on the table or not, it’s important to start planning for these financial changes, updating your spending habits and budgets.
You can still maintain friendships and hobbies you found during the marriage, but don’t expect them to be exactly the same. Allow yourself to question whether things that remind you too much of your married life are still healthy and beneficial to your new single life. Understand that remaining friends with your ex-spouse’s friends or family members may cause friction and determine if it is worth the struggle or not.
In addition, some of these friends (and especially family members of your ex), may feel like they can no longer be in your life out of respect for their prior relationship to your ex. This will hurt, but you cannot control how other people behave. You can only control your reactions to it.
For couples with kids, no matter the age, your relationship as a single parent will be different than when you were a couple. But different doesn’t have to mean bad, and it certainly doesn’t have to mean hard. There will be struggles, but the more your children are reminded that no matter what, you are there for them, the easier everything will be.
These won’t be easy decisions, but even the most amicable divorce is not easy. At Leap Frog Divorce, we specialize in minimizing conflict and tension in divorce proceedings, so that everyone is taken care of and all parties will be put in the best position to succeed once the divorce is finalized.
MOVING ON MEANS SOMETHING DIFFERENT FOR EVERYONE
Only you get to define what “moving on after divorce” means to you, and you also get to decide when that time comes. Only you know when you’re ready to start dating again, or if you’re even interested in dating again. It’s important to not let societal norms or friends and family tell you how to handle your life after divorce.
If your ex starts dating again before you, it will likely hurt and confuse you, but you must remember that the only life you can control is your own. There is no winner or loser in a divorce, only two newly single people. Don’t jump back into the dating pool only because your ex has and don’t do it just to spite your ex.
Give yourself time to go through each of the divorce grief stages at your own pace and move on when you’re ready to do it for yourself.
After a divorce, you may feel that the relationship you need to work on most is the one with yourself and the life that needs rebuilding is your own. It’s important not to hold yourself to a societal standard or compare yourself to others, even if they’re in a similar situation.
Seeking help is always a good thing, whether that’s with a one-on-one therapist or in a support group with other divorced men and women. Sharing your struggles with others, getting advice, realizing that you are not alone can help you sort through all the changes in your life.
The most important thing to accept is that you need to do things in a way that benefits you. Support and advice are wonderful tools, but holding yourself up to someone else’s standard will not help you in the long run.
AN AMICABLE DIVORCE LEADS TO AN AMICABLE LIFE AFTER DIVORCE
The more you can minimize hostility during divorce proceedings, the easier it will all be. The same principle goes for life after divorce for both men and women. If you are able to have an uncontested and amicable divorce, you shouldn’t let it end there.
For couples sharing children especially, your relationship has evolved, but it certainly hasn’t ended. You don’t owe your ex-spouse every detail of your personal life, but anything that will affect your children should be shared out of respect. Keeping communication honest and respectful is crucial to having a healthy life after divorce and ensuring that no further legal proceedings will be necessary.
Even if you are not sharing kids with your ex, you might still be sharing friends, hobbies and a city. Don’t behave in a manner that will knowingly antagonize your ex but don’t be intimidated out of enjoying your life. These are all issues that can be avoided by committing to an amicable, collaborative divorce. Leap Frog Divorce can help both spouses mentally prepare for how their separate lives might intersect and how to handle these instances.
LEAP FROG DIVORCE IS THERE TO HELP WITH MORE THAN JUST DIVORCE
Marriages fall apart for a reason. If you keep mourning everything you lost, you’ll lose out on all the amazing things that lie ahead.
At Leap Frog, we’re interested in helping people through a difficult time, and we believe that a collaborative divorce is the best way to do that. We’re committed to keeping the divorce process open, honest and respectful of all parties involved, and we provide services like divorce consulting for clients who want to handle the divorce themselves but may need a bit more assistance getting over the legal hurdles.