Relationships Podcast Post

Divorce Proof your Marriage with Mike Bosworth

George Grombacher November 14, 2022

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Divorce Proof your Marriage with Mike Bosworth

LifeBlood: We talked about how to divorce proof your marriage, how to identify our relationship wounds, how to put narrative around feelings, and how to avoid a mediocre relationship, with Mike Bosworth, CoFounder of WeConcile.

Listen to learn woman are biologically better communicators than men!

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Our Guests

George Grombacher

Mike Bosworth

Episode Transcript

Unknown Speaker 0:00

Unknown Speaker 0:15
what’s up? This is George G and the time is right welcome today’s guest strong and powerful Mike Bosworth. Mike, are you ready to do this? I’m ready to do this. George, pleasure to be here with you. All right, let’s go. Mike is the co founder of weaken sail they are the world’s first relationship rescue and restoration app helping to people helping people to divorce proof their marriages. Mike excited to have you on tell us a little about your personal lives more about your work and why you do what you do. Well, I I’m a retired career sales trainer back in the 90s. I train 15,000, IBM salespeople. And one of the things I was teaching people was how to use storytelling storytelling to connect with strangers build trust and credibility. And in 2009, my wife, Jennifer Leia, my second wave, I should add, who’s a couple of therapists started writing, we can solve because she had so many people who needed more help than she could give them. And couples therapy is really expensive. And if you really look at the statistics, 90% of all people in relationships,

Unknown Speaker 1:37
hit enough bumps to make them nervous, and haven’t really figured out how to maximize and take their relationship from mediocre to good to great. And so

Unknown Speaker 1:51
that’s her Her mission is to lead the world a better place. And it’s really pretty brilliant the way she did it, it’s on a mobile app, the first time she wrote it, she wrote it for a desktop. And people didn’t want to be on a desktop. And also, we can tell 1.0 It was kind of like learning from the Encyclopedia Britannica, you had to start at level one and go to level two, or level three and level four. And we’ve made it much more

Unknown Speaker 2:23
almost like Google, you can Google topics about your relationship. I think the real value of awakened sounds is even more for men and women.

Unknown Speaker 2:39
Most couples, when they need some kind of help her reach out for help or go to a couple of therapists or whatever those reaches are female driven. Men are kind of dragged along kicking and screaming if they go at all. And the majority of men I’ve met over the years in my adult life, many who do therapy, but there’s still shame to it. They most men won’t even admit to their buddies that they’re seeing a therapist. So I think

Unknown Speaker 3:13
in addition to all the pain and frustration of frost of relationships, not going the way people always thought they would when they were young and in love.

Unknown Speaker 3:24

Unknown Speaker 3:27
it’s a communication thing. And men, certainly in the United States, with all the men I’ve trained men haven’t been nurtured to express their feelings, their emotions, to be okay with it. So many so many boys growing up had these macho fathers who said don’t be a baby, don’t be a girl, don’t show your emotions don’t cry. And so men have an extra few rocks in their pack when it comes to working on their relationships. But

Unknown Speaker 4:05
one of the things that Jennifer built into weakens our thought helpers. And what men need help with is putting narrative around their own feelings and emotions and stuff. So they can communicate.

Unknown Speaker 4:23
Jennifer wrote an article once called when wounds collide, she says no matter how great your family of origin was, everybody has emotional wounds. And when you get into

Unknown Speaker 4:39
a relationship, a romantic relationship, sooner or later, might take four, six months, but sooner or later, those wounds are gonna collide.

Unknown Speaker 4:50
And the real key to having successful relationships is how you work through those bumps in the road and

Unknown Speaker 5:00
I think for me, and for most of the men that I know, one of the biggest values that we can say is they can do self exploration, they can wake up at two in the morning and say, God, you know, I really wish I hadn’t reacted so badly with my partner this afternoon. And it can help them go into their family of origin and explore and say, you know, the reason I react so badly when this happens is when I was five years old, my father did this, but it helps them

Unknown Speaker 5:36
put enough narrative around their wounds and triggers that the next time they talk to their partner. Besides apologizing, they can tell you now

Unknown Speaker 5:50
I’ve done some self exploration and here’s why I believe I react so badly when something like this happens. And if you can put a little narrative around your your own wounds and triggers when you’re speaking with your partner, you can get empathy instead of acrimony. And the real key to all relationships is, is communicating heart to heart when you’re not in a kerfuffle. And one of the other things that Jennifer realized is that most people

Unknown Speaker 6:27
can’t learn about relationships, when they’re upset. When you’re upset, you have to come down first, before you start exploring. And so so there’s a in the app, there’s a number of buttons, but I think the big one is the, the I need help button. And so the I need help button, help people calm down. And then once you come down, then you go into you do the top topics, there’s family of origin, trauma, fighting conflict, you know, whatever, and start to educate your it’s really

Unknown Speaker 7:11
I think, for most people, it’s putting narrative around their feelings and emotions and, and men are at a big disadvantage, compared to most women, in putting narrative around their feelings and emotions. What happens when I hit the Need Help button?

Unknown Speaker 7:29
When I need help button here, I’ll just I’ll just walk you through it.

Unknown Speaker 7:34
It says, What do you need help with right now. And then it gives you choices. Something someone important to me did something I did, I’m upset. I was or I’m in a fight. I want to fight. And so pick one.

Unknown Speaker 7:53
I want first, the first one. If someone something someone important to me did, then the next one comes back now what happens and now you’ve got thought helpers.

Unknown Speaker 8:05
So many important to me got upset, we got caught in her cycle, I pushed someone important to me away, someone important to me push me away, I upset myself. I was upset by someone important. You hit one of those that it leads you down into calming words and thoughts and helps you calm down and send a message to your partner even if it’s you know, I’m still too upset. But I do want to resolve this and give me another couple hours and we’ll talk about this I need to calm down but it’s it’s opening up the lines of communication.

Unknown Speaker 8:43
By love it. It’s kind of like a choose your own adventure. So walk me through that. And I appreciate what you’re talking about what you’ve been talking about how if I don’t have the words for expressing how I feel, I’m probably I’m at a disadvantage. And that’s probably going to limit my

Unknown Speaker 9:02
to limit that it’s going to keep me or prevent me from attempting to express myself versus now I have the language of God the narrative around the way that I’m feeling and now I can express myself and we can enter into a constructive and proactive conversation about this instead of

Unknown Speaker 9:22
instead of me shutting down or continuing to fight and and acrimony builds and builds and builds and yeah, everything explodes you got it

Unknown Speaker 9:36
yeah, another another thing that I learned years ago that there’s actually and most people readily admit that women are better in general stereotypically speaking of expressing emotions and feelings and stuff like that, then men, but there’s actually even a biological reason.

Unknown Speaker 9:56
You know, we have two sides of our brain, the left sides language and

Unknown Speaker 10:00
analytics, the right side or feelings, emotions are senses. And the only thing connecting the left and the right is this thing called the corpus callosum. And women have a larger channel between their left and their right than men do. It’s like women have high speed internet between the left and the right. And men are more like dial up modem between the left and the right. And so I’m really trying to pitch weaken sound as many men as possible, because women shouldn’t be responsible for, you know, driving help to relationships solely, and I think it’s would be really good thing more men could participate. Yeah, I certainly agree with that. And that’s it’s a fascinating reality of, of how the the two sides of the brain women have have more tight knit more connections between those two. And so that does certainly help to influence why it is they are often more in touch and better able to articulate the way that they feel about things. And, you know, I certainly couldn’t agree more that the more we can help people to come to the realization that that marriage is a really, really challenging thing, because there’s two people that are involved. And oftentimes, there’s even more people involved like in law, and kids and everything else. We need to have the toolkit or the arsenal, whatever metaphor you want to use to be able to, to work through this and to navigate the messy stuff. Yeah, yeah. God, I wish people got it easy as easily as you do.

Unknown Speaker 11:48
Well, it’s, it’s, uh, you know, I’ve I, my folks split up when I was five, and I’m 44 years old, and it’s still to this day, to this day, it’s a pain in the neck, because my folks still don’t get along great. And so, you know, if not that they should have stayed married or whatever. But for my money, my perspective, it’s better for people to stay married, and recognize this is going to be really hard. Versus Well, you know, what, forget it, I’m just going to move on. And it’ll be better next time. Right, at least, at least try and do the work and position yourself for success. Yeah, we’ve had a number of single people who aren’t in relationships play around with we can sail. And the wisdom they’re showing is that they’re doing autopsies on previous relationships, that didn’t work. Because if you see so many people they pick, they keep picking the same wrong partners, again, and again and again, because they haven’t gone in to their own family of origin and and their own wounds and their own triggers, and

Unknown Speaker 12:58
improved their own ability to be in a relationship before they try another one, if that makes sense.

Unknown Speaker 13:07
makes all the sense. I’m a massive fan of Shel Silverstein is the missing piece. And we’re all rolling along and you know, trying to find something that’s going to complete us from the outside when it never will, it’s going to be an inside job. And we need to address the beliefs and the wounds as you’ve been describing them because we have them and they’re going to show up. It just they’re gonna show up 100% Those wounds are gonna collide eventually in every single relationship.

Unknown Speaker 13:37

Unknown Speaker 13:39
And to not address them, as you know, I think but people just don’t know. We don’t know. And that’s the reason that that that you’re doing the work that you’re doing to bring awareness to this and to help people start to explore those things and to reconcile our own wounds so that we can come into a relationship with with with somebody, not that we’re ever going to be

Unknown Speaker 14:02
fully healed or anything like that. But at least at least we’re as aware as perhaps we can be, and maybe have some more hope a lot of people are

Unknown Speaker 14:15
tolerating mediocrity. It’s not bad enough to get a divorce. But it’s certainly not what it used to be when we were young and in love. And I think it’s mainly because they don’t know how to make it better.

Unknown Speaker 14:35
Tolerating mediocrity just gutting it out. And I guess to degree, I certainly respect that versus pulling the ripcord and getting divorced. Sure, kids, but it doesn’t need to be that way. Yeah, no, it doesn’t. No, it doesn’t need to be that way. So the

Unknown Speaker 14:56
I mean, the entry point is probably downloading the app and checking

Unknown Speaker 15:00
Now download the app. It’s on Apple and Google and you can try it free for seven days. And so just make sure if you try it for seven days and think it isn’t for me cancel it before it hits your credit card after seven days. So you got, you’ve got seven days to play.

Unknown Speaker 15:18
Yeah, I appreciate that. So, we all have been working on this for for a long time. I appreciate how Yeah, your your wife recognize that, that she wasn’t able to help the world but that people needed a lot more help than they were getting. And that can be expensive. So how long is have has this been a thing? It’s been in the Google Store for two months. It just got to the Apple store in the last week because Apple is a pain in the ass. They’re, you know, their, their the big dog and Nana

Unknown Speaker 16:00
got it. Okay, so so its presence in the App Store is is is pretty no even though it’s better. Yeah. Okay, wonderful. Yeah. Well, that’s super exciting. Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you. And, you know, if people just want to get a taste of Jennifer’s huge heart and her wisdom, if you just go into YouTube and put we can saw, she’s got a bunch of 60 to 92nd videos on the weakened cell YouTube channel. One of the most popular ones lately among women is Are you married to a man baby?

Unknown Speaker 16:39
But there’s a lot of you know, juicy little topics that last a minute or a minute and a half if, if you just want to get a sense for, for Jennifer’s wisdom. Appreciate that. I’m gonna Yeah.

Unknown Speaker 16:53
So that’s my wife and she’ll be able to tell me if I’m married if she’s married to a man baby or not. Yeah, I like to think that I’m not Mike, but I didn’t do but you know, I think we all have our moments.

Unknown Speaker 17:07
100% I love it. Well, Mike, thank you so much for coming on. Give us all the all the places that we can connect again, please.

Unknown Speaker 17:18
We can solve that calm.

Unknown Speaker 17:21
You want to reach me or Jennifer’s mica we can talk guy calm or Jennifer we can tell by calm. And

Unknown Speaker 17:30
I think the YouTube channel is really a nice way to just play around and look at a few subjects and say, you know, do I like where she’s coming from.

Unknown Speaker 17:42
I like because we can tell is very deep. It’s got over 200 topics. And for each topic. There’s different learning modes, you can get nuggets, if you have a short attention span, you can read stories about other couples and that normalizes a lot of things. When you read stories about other couples. There’s actual lessons if you want to go deep and exercises if you even want to go deeper and most of the contents on audio too if you just want to download it to your your your car while you’re driving. So there’s there’s lots of ways to experience the content depending on your own learning mode and whatever subjects you’re interested in. Excellent.

Unknown Speaker 18:30
If you enjoyed as much as I did, show Mike your appreciation and share today’s show with a friend who also appreciates good ideas go to weaken It’s Find the YouTube channel and get a feel for the work. So go to YouTube and enter weakened style and you’ll find the channel and then download the app on the App Store and the Google Play Store as well. And, and check it out and find out if it is what you’ve been looking for and the more help that we can have and expressing ourselves be we man or woman. Certainly certainly all the better. It’s good, Mike. Thank you, sir. And until next time, remember, do your part by doing your best

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