Success Podcast Post

Be Bold with Fred Joyal

George Grombacher August 11, 2022

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Be Bold with Fred Joyal

LifeBlood: We talked about how to be bold, the value of confidence and charisma, how to develop your boldness, creating virtuous cycles, and how to get started, with Fred Joyal, entrepreneur and founder of 1800 Dentist, speaker and author

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Our Guests

George Grombacher

Fred Joyal

Episode Transcript

Unknown Speaker 0:00
Come on

Unknown Speaker 0:11
weapon. This is George G. And the time is right. welcome today’s guest strong and powerful. Fred Joyal. Fred, are you ready to do this? You bet. Let’s go. All right, let’s go. Fred is an entrepreneur. He’s a speaker, a business coach and an author. He’s the founder of one 800 dentist, and his newest book is super bold from under confidence charismatic in 90 days, Fred, tell us a little about your personal life some more about your work and why you do what you do.

Unknown Speaker 0:39
I am, you know, a core a writer, but it’s turned into everything else started in the advertising world, then it ended up creating a business based on advertising, which was one 800 dentists learned how to be an entrepreneur and a business leader, over 25 years, finally sold the business, learn how to sell a business, learn how to, you know, bring in private equity at first and then a few years later, sell the business. And then became very passionate about teaching people about the superpower of boldness, having been a very shy and under confident person in my young life. And taking way too long to work my way through it, I thought it would be

Unknown Speaker 1:26
the most impactful thing I could do with my life is to help other people learn this earlier and learn it faster. So that’s where a lot of my energy goes now.

Unknown Speaker 1:37

Unknown Speaker 1:39
So you’ve always been a writer? So was the book easy? Or was it still a little bit tricky?

Unknown Speaker 1:47
It’s my third book, I wrote two books for the dental industry on marketing. So by this one, I really had it down in terms of content and flow and readability. That’s I mean, that’s one of the great things I got out of advertising was to not just write books with great content or valuable content, it was to make them really readable. And one of the tricks actually is before you publish, read the audio book out loud. And you know, in written, so you’re obviously read it out loud. But I mean, you’re recording it. And you say, Okay, this isn’t flowing Exactly. Like I thought I actually made my first book, I caught a paragraph that actually somehow had gotten to mean exactly the opposite of what I was trying to say. And I was able to not print the book yet until I could fix it. So it was great. So yeah, it’s it’s the writing that really sparked everything and, and,

Unknown Speaker 2:51
but but again, you get to a point with the book, where you can’t fix it anymore. And I gave it to an editor at Scribd media, and she just went through it and the book is easily 30% better because of her. She would say, this doesn’t belong here. You said this five times, you don’t need it that he’s like this, you know, this doesn’t make any sense. Move, moved all sorts of out took 20% of the content out. And it was I just said, Wow, I could have never done that. I could have reread it redrafted five more times. So at a certain point, you hand it off to an expert, who, who who is also passionate about it. They she loved the book. And she said, these are all but like every page was what’s her notes. And I was going through them one by one. Yes. Yes. That’s great. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, that’s true. Oh, yeah, I actually gotta get rid of that. Why did I say that? Like right down the line. So that was that was actually a very satisfying experience to do that part of it. Yeah, interesting. Right. Where it’s, it’s, it’s, it’s your baby, you’re immersed in it, you’re drowning in it, you’re sick of it, you can’t get enough of it. So you need to hand it to somebody else to get those additional eyes. That certainly makes sense. Yeah, well, and it’s like trying to proofread your own stuff. It just doesn’t happen. He’ll miss the same comma 40 times and somebody goes, you know, put commas there. What’s that supposed to be a period? It’s the end of the sentence. Oh, yeah, I didn’t see that. You know, it’s like that only in a much more. When somebody is really immersed in the content. They can really refine it. It’s I mean, it’s an amazing skill. And I can do it with other people’s stuff, too. They hand me stuff and I can that’s what I did a lot of my careers. I wasn’t the initial writer of either, let’s say a TV spot or an ad or something like that. But it would come to me and I can fix it really easily because the famous guy in

Unknown Speaker 4:58
advertising David Ogilvy

Unknown Speaker 5:00
back from the 60s and he, he said, Any idiot can rewrite copy, which is an exaggeration. But his point was coming up with the initial draft is the hard part. But a lot of people and a lot of and that’s not as many people, a lot of people can fix it. It’s a different skill set really was his point. But he, he was diminishing, the less creative people. Yeah, I think that that makes sense. All right. So

Unknown Speaker 5:28
confidence charisma, being bold. This is in fact a muscle that I can train and I can strike then.

Unknown Speaker 5:37
Exactly, yeah. And that’s really an important way to look at. Because people say, well, well, confidence and boldness, aren’t they the same thing? And I say, No, they’re actually not at all. Confidence is how you feel. In certain situations, you are confident or non confident, not confident in all sorts of situations, comfortable with a group of people, but one on one, you get nothing, right? You’re full of anxiety, or the opposite.

Unknown Speaker 6:05
Boldness is what you do what how you go into action. And what people don’t realize is, is you can build your boldness, by controlling the intensity of that building it like a muscle, you just put yourself in low risk situations, but there are still challenging, but they’re not overwhelming. And you start to get bolder and bolder and bolder. And I go into a lot of detail in the book about how you do that, and how you change your mindset and have certain insights. But it’s very much about controlling the dosage of the experience, just like you would, if you were lifting weights, you wouldn’t start bench pressing 300 pounds, you would start with 5075, whatever was stressful, but not overwhelming. And, as this happens, people realize the great secrets of boldness, which is

Unknown Speaker 7:03
all sorts of things. exciting, interesting, unanticipated things happen, because you’re bold, doors swing open, people don’t stop you, you find out that you’re the one stopping you 95% of the time, not somebody else, bold people know, to never be the ones stopping themselves. And that’s hugely powerful. But the idea of charisma is to is you’re just bringing your full self to every situation that matters to you. Because that’s the whole idea of building your boldness muscle just like exercise, you want to be strong when it matters, we’re not going to have to get 300 pounds off our chest anytime soon, hopefully. But the bench pressing makes your bones your tissues stronger, your circulatory system stronger. Building your boldness muscle, when it’s lower risk makes it possible when there is a challenge for you to step up. And here’s the great mystery is people think, Well, I’m not confident enough to be bold. And I say actually, you don’t need to be confident to be bold, you just need to decide to do it. It’s it, there’s an element almost of courage to it. Because what happened, you don’t need that confidence to take bold action. And what will happen is that bold action will build your confidence, because you’ll say, Wow, I did that. I kind of it kind of went well kind of went better than I thought or I didn’t die like I thought I was gonna We’re just the other thing, we think, Oh, it’s gonna be so I’m gonna die of embarrassment. Well, technically, you can’t die of embarrassment. It’s a mindset thing. So when you start to do these things, you actually create new neural pathways that eventually make boldness, your default mode instead of hesitance instead of

Unknown Speaker 9:02
under confidence. Got an ambulance going, I don’t know if you’re gonna hear.

Unknown Speaker 9:09
But that’s, that’s and then boldness allows you to bring your full self you’re not going to become somebody else. You’re not going to turn into a show off or a narcissist or somebody else like that. You’re going to be the fool you. You’re not going to miss opportunities, you’re not going to have regrets because you acted even if you failed. You act it you tried and that’s another big secret is bold people know that trying and failing feels better than not trying. Whereas not not trying guarantees failure technically, and but it feels safer. And we’re all we’re looking for safety. But you know, do you want your tombstone to say I played it as safe as possible every day

Unknown Speaker 10:00
And it was just wonderful.

Unknown Speaker 10:04
I absolutely do not. Everything you just said makes makes perfect sense to me. It’s like it creates a virtuous cycle, you become just more capable, which helps you to become more confident, which then allows you to show up as the best version, the most charismatic version of yourself, which will allow you to continue that momentum and recognize that it’s not Nobody is stopping me from doing the things that I want to do. It’s just me holding myself back. So that makes a ton of sense. If you gotten pushback on on the term charismatic, I wrote down, it’s not a negative thing to just perhaps a reserved person think Well, I don’t want to be some salesy flashy person.

Unknown Speaker 10:47
Well, yeah, but that’s, of course, that’s the self talk. I don’t want to be a show off. I don’t want to be an attention whore. Like, no, that’s the narcissist the narcissist is not actually bold, the narcissist is incredibly insecure, they can’t be wrong. That’s their, that’s their giant defense mechanism. And bold people are totally comfortable being wrong, they like use failure as a stairway up, just like you would use failure, as you’re in your exercise, you’re gonna do curls or something like that, to failure. Until you can’t do one. I mean, it’s like, that’s the opposite concept of failure, it’s applying it positively. And this, it’s the same thing with boldness. But

Unknown Speaker 11:36
charisma is really just radiating that you belong, wherever you are. And that with it, and you appear to be comfortable, sometimes you may not even be, but you’re so used to being bold, that you say, Wow, I really don’t, technically don’t even belong in this group of people or whatever. But I am going to, I’m going to be myself, because I am worthy, when you can change that messaging to yourself, that I am worthy, because we’re constantly telling ourselves where and why and how we’re not worthy. And you got to you got to own listen to those or override those tapes, bold, people still hear the voices, they just don’t listen, they act. And when you when you say, I belong here, and there’s no reason why you don’t belong, wherever you are. I’ve been in rooms with billionaires with guys who make more money than I’ll ever see. And I just treat them like regular people. And they respond in kind, because I am acting like I belong there. Because in my mind, I do. I’m just, I’m another person I’ve successes and failures. I’ve tried stuff, I just haven’t been lucky enough to make, you know, a billion dollars. And I made it and that’s not even where we’re gonna put a lot of my energy

Unknown Speaker 12:59
to shoot that. So 90 days, that’s not a long time. Well, I had to make a bold statement in the title, I had to make a super bold, you got to sell books short. Yeah, right. You know, like, I can’t make half, half, you know, half courageous statement. But 90 days is, is what it takes to make new behavior habitual 60 to 90 days by doing something every day. And that’s one of the elements of what I teach in the book because I teach a very practical and systematic way to build your boldness muscle.

Unknown Speaker 13:39
And one of the steps critical steps is doing something bold every day. And as you as you do that, it becomes your default mode, over 90 days, with the stuff that I’m teaching you and applying it, you realize, Wow, I am I am on a pathway to boldness for the rest of my life, you will become a student of boldness. Because there’s always more a bold person. That’s where the humility comes for a bold person is they know they can always be better. They always see that little more that they can squeeze out of themselves or the situation or the opportunity, or the fun or the adventure they and they say they’ll and they’re really comfortable. It takes boldness to be self reflective, to take feedback but to look and say I did that went so well. I wonder what I could have done a little better. That takes a level of humility.

Unknown Speaker 14:39
And that’s and when you’re constantly pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. Your things are gonna not gonna go well necessarily and but you’re gonna have the information I loved. I always tell people success doesn’t teach you anywhere near as much as failure failure is full of information success. You could have just gotten lucky or been in the

Unknown Speaker 15:00
right place at the right time a bunch of things fell into place. Failure, you know, you got a lot to look at. And bold people just say I want to look at it. I want to see how I can get better.

Unknown Speaker 15:13
So you’ve experienced an enormous amount of success. Are you still going back and evaluating yourself consistently?

Unknown Speaker 15:21
Oh, absolutely. I still have moments where we’re, like, I was just in a situation where I met this person I really wanted to meet, and I had this this great short conversation with him. And then I said, great to meet you, and walked away. And I, as I walked away and went, why are you walking away, they weren’t giving you any sort of signal that they were done with you. But it like it went so much better than I thought that I was like, I was excited right now one of the take and run would be the excitement of it. But I thought, no, I could have, I could have spent another five minutes and gone to another whole level with this person.

Unknown Speaker 16:05
And so I’m still checking myself and saying, Wow, I as bold as I was, I was 10 yards short of where I could have gotten. So it’s it. But it’s also it becomes fun, because you don’t have to beat yourself up you go next time next time, because there’s always a next time with with a parallel situation, not the exact situation. That’s the other thing I also tell people is, the real reason to build your boldness muscle is there will be moments in windows that open and close. And if you don’t act, they will never open again, the opportunity will never come again. Now, maybe asking for a promotion, asking somebody to marry you.

Unknown Speaker 16:50
Giving a eulogy for a friend, or a parent. If you say I don’t like public speaking, it’s like, this isn’t a public speaking event. This is your last chance to get up in front of everybody and tell them how you feel about this person. And if you sit there, and I see people do this, at Memorial services all the time, they just sit there.

Unknown Speaker 17:11
And people say is there anything out there anybody else want to say anything and people don’t get up? And then later they say, you know, I should I really should have gotten up and said something I say, Yeah, you should have What the hell were you thinking? You know, and I, I, a lot of times nobody gets up. So I get up to sort of because then people when somebody does it, and they get up and they see me cry and choke up and stumble, they go, Oh, it’s okay to cry. Well, yeah, it’s a memorial service. It’s not a stand up routine. You know, it’s not Steve Jobs presenting the latest Apple product. It’s this is a moment and you want when those moments to come that come and present themselves, you do not want to hesitate. You want your boldness muscle, and you want the mindset to say, I am going to act I maybe don’t feel confident, but I’m acting anyway. I am taking bold action. What a perfect example that is

Unknown Speaker 18:14
really powerful. Yeah, it is. It’s it’s you when that happens to you. It it knows that you forever. You know, it’s you’re gonna carry that one. No doubt. I love it.

Unknown Speaker 18:28
Fred, people are ready for that difference making tip even though you give it a lot, what do you have for them?

Unknown Speaker 18:34
So people say, Well, if, you know, how would I get started? What would I do? I’m too cheap to buy your book. What do I do? I say, all right, start here. Talk to a stranger every day.

Unknown Speaker 18:50
At least one complete stranger. And it could be you could just say hi, if that’s that’s more than you, that’s you gotta handle your dosage. So it could just be I’m just going to say hi. Or I’m just going to smile at a stranger until I get the nerve to start saying hi. But every day interact with a stranger, go could be the person in line with you at the grocery store could be in line at Starbucks or dunkin donuts or whatever your coffee spa of choice is. There’s going to be somebody in front of you and behind you to say something. I recommend a compliment. If you’re feeling like bold enough to just offer something, compliment them and do it expects this is the key with no agenda, no expectation of anything more than a brief connection and making somebody feel good about themselves. do that every day. You’ll get addicted to it.

Unknown Speaker 19:51
Well, I think that that is great stuff that definitely gets Come on. Fred, thank you so much for coming on. Where can people learn more about you? Where can they get a copy of superb

Unknown Speaker 20:00
Old from under confident charismatic in 90 days. So, Fred JOY a l. It no dots or dashes or anything is my website and my everything. It’s my LinkedIn and Facebook and Twitter and Instagram and Tiktok.

Unknown Speaker 20:19
So you can, you can find me there, you can find it, you can download the first chapter of the book there on on my website. And the book is available on Amazon in hardcover, Kindle, and audible and it’s me reading the audible and the Kindle is and all that I lowered the price as much as I can the hardcover. You can’t because it’s paper. You know, it’s lumber is expensive these days. But other than that, I want people to read the book. I’m not trying to get rich off the book, I want them to be bolder, we need bold people solving big problems.

Unknown Speaker 20:54
Amen. Have you enjoyed as much as I did show Fred your appreciation and share today’s show with a friend who also appreciates good ideas go to Fred F R Ed And check out all things that are Fred, pick up a copy of super bold wherever you buy your books, but Amazon has great spot and all the different versions. Thanks again, Fred.

Unknown Speaker 21:18
Thank you, George. And until next time, keep fighting the good fight. We’re all in this together.

Transcribed by

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