You Are What Your Record Says You Are

What’s the score of the game that you’re playing? Do you know what the score is to know where you’re at stage of the game? What the actual score is? But I’m not playing any games, you say, aren’t you? We’re all playing lots of games. It’s always lots of games going on that whether we’re aware of them or not, we are absolutely plain. We play games with our health, we think, Okay, I’m going to eat pizza and ice cream today on Sunday. But tomorrow on Monday, that’s when I’m going to kick in with my diet. We play games with our career, you don’t think it’s a game, but we really are. You got a degree you achieve or pursue certifications and designations and new learnings to get promoted you jockey and do office politics and climb the corporate ladder and make decisions about what your next move is or what your next pivot is. There are constantly maneuvers being made, games that are being played, you are playing an ordered game where there are rules that you are aware of, and hopefully the more aware of the rules are that you are of the rules that you are, the better that you’ll be able to, to play and navigate them. We play games, with our physical health, again, it’s a matter of calories in and calories out. It’s exercise. We play games with our finances, kind of like with our rationalization that we do with our diet. We play games with our finances, we say, well, I overspent this month, but I’m not worried about it, because I’m going to make up for it next month. And I know that I’m supposed to be saving money and contributing to my 401 K at work. But I’m going to start that next quarter because we’ve got stuff with the kids. And speaking to the kids, we are absolutely playing games with the kids as well. We’ve got games that we try to play to, to get them to do behaviors that we’re interested in having them do. We give them resources and motivate them. And there’s carrots and their sticks. And this that other thing. So there is without question, a game that has been played if we do that with other relationships as well, with modern dating, that’s a term for it dating in today’s world. And in recent memory with dating apps and social media, we’re presenting ourselves and we are we’re making in creating images of ourselves that look the best possible version of us, and the way that we meet new people, and so on and so forth. I think you can get it. So in every aspect of our lives, we are playing games. And the whole thing is I wanted to talk about is what is the score of the game that you are playing Bill Parcells, a very famous football coach, he has a quote says you are what your record says you are. You are what your record says you are. So you are what the score is. Good news, bad news terms of the score of this particular game. I don’t know what stage of the game that you are in, it could be towards the beginning of the game, you could be middle you could be right at the end. And depending on that Hail Mary, to stick with the football references could be required. Or you could have a little bit of time to claw back into clawback into this game. So we have this superpower of rationalization. And too often it becomes a weapon of mass destruction. Because what we do is we just rationalize why we are where we are and make it okay. And instead of rationalizing ourselves in a positive way, more often than not we rationalize why it is that the score is what it is, why it is that we are where we are at in the games that we are playing. Because we maybe we thought we were going to be somewhere we ended up a little lower than that. It’s not necessarily it’s not a source of happiness for us, when we find ourselves broke or overweight, or struggling or in a crappy relationship. So instead of really taking an accurate assessment and interrogating the reality of why it is that we are where we are, we rationalize it away. And you know what? Sure, I played some role in this. But there’s all these other extenuating circumstances that are at play. And what do we do? What is that? What is that doing to us when we’re doing that? Is that benefiting you is that benefiting me when I make excuses for myself, because that’s essentially in a lot of ways what rationalizing is, is I’m making excuses for why I do not have or I’m just not in the circumstances situation that I want to be in. So what is the way forward? What is the way forward? I think that it is a function of, is it time for a comeback. I don’t want to put my values on you, I want you to figure out what your values are, and then to apply them to you. So, look at I break down life, well, I guess life could look at it that way into six areas. Talk ad nauseam about these. So if you’re sick of it, apologize. We’ll talk about family being the first area that we’re most interested in community, our work in our finances, I lump those together into one, our wellness, so mental health, physical health, emotional health, personal development, what we’re interested in learning just for the sake of learning, and then peace of mind. So those are the six key areas that I think that if you’re looking to focus on different aspects of your life, if I just said, Hey, how’s everything going? How is life? Be like? Oh, that’s a big question. But if we were to break it down, so those six areas make it helpful. So when we’re trying to assess what’s the score of the game that I’m playing, in this example, the score the game that you are playing, I want you to think about it in context of those six areas. And when you look across the larger group of us here in the United States, we’re not necessarily winning the game. Way too many of us are overweight. Way too many of us are broke way too many of us are struggling with mental health, just physical health, and everything else. We are addicted and distracted, and lions and tigers and bears. Oh, my. So what’s to be done? Well figure out what it is that you actually want. So do you think that there is a problem? Is it time for you to make a comeback? Do you do you think that in your situation? In those six areas? Is a change required? Do you want to make a change? Do you believe that you need to make a change? Would you like to make a change? wants to make a change need to make a change? However you want to think about it? If if the answer is yes, well, then I have I think that there’s good news, I think that I think it’s all a lot closer than you think. I knew that I have a tendency to catastrophize things. And I say oh my gosh, this is just the worst thing that’s ever happened and how in the world am I going to get past this thing. And then you look back on all the things that we catastrophize that I catastrophize. And it’s one of those things that this too shall pass. It’s not very fun to be going through bad stuff. But the the whatever the that you want, is a lot closer than you think. And change can happen very, very quickly. Now, I’m not saying you can just all of a sudden lose 100 pounds, unless you just I’m not going to make a weight loss drug joke there. It’s called restraint. Thank you. But the process and getting ready to be prepared, positioning yourself to lose 100 pounds. That’s a lot closer than you think. And could you lose it in a year? No. But maybe, could you lose in three years without question. And that’s true of every change that you’re interested in making your life could be totally different in three years, and say, well, three years, that’s not very close. So yeah, it absolutely is. That’s really close. Three years, especially as we get older, time goes a lot faster. Three years, we’ll be here before you know it. And you can position yourself for the success that you really want. By investing in the one year two year or three years that it’ll take to get you what you want.

So I think it’s it’s hard question to ask yourself, you say, Is this the life that I really want moving forward? Is this the body that I want to take with me and to the next stage of my life? Whatever that next stage is? Is this the thinking that I want to take with me to the next stage in my life? Is this the financial situation that I want to take with me to the next stage of my life? Is this the work is my career, the work that I want to be doing? The next stage of my life? You I don’t know the answer to those questions. I asked myself those questions all the time. I want you encourage you to ask you yourself those questions. And if answering or asking those questions in the context of the six areas, you say, yeah, yeah, there are some changes that I think I would really benefit from making. And I would like to make those changes. That’s, that’s really the first step. And then it’s taking an examined approach to your life. So really examine your life. And I want you to think about what your beliefs are, what your values are, what your goals are, think about your purpose, things like that, then I want you to think about your current level of understanding and your resources. So if you’re trying to make a change, with diet exercise, how well do you understand nutrition and fitness? You know, that’s just like personal finance and everything else, there is a massive spectrum, on one end is just pure expertise. And the other end is pure ignorance. Where are you on that? So what resources do you need to fill in, in order to make the change that you want to make? So that we’ll stick with that? Because we have this football metaphor going on? So how well do you understand strength training? How can you become more explosive? How can you put on more muscle? How can you improve your cardiovascular exercise so you can run for longer? What do you need to change from a nutrition standpoint? So how well do you understand what your body needs in order to build muscle in order to lose fat in order to whatever it is you’re doing? So what resources do you need? Do you need to study on your own? Do you need to work with a dietician? Do you need to join a gym? Do you need to join it? Do you need to hire a trainer to help you with these things? Or just information is absolutely just at our fingertips, we’re awash in information about all these things that you would be interested or needing to make change in your life. So where can you get them? Then it’s a function of Okay. Will you do these things? Because you can create just this dynamite plan? Wow, this is awesome. I’m going to be jacked and I’m going to be like, you know, Tom Brady or whoever else? Patrick mahomes. In no time. Okay, maybe. But is your plan going to survive its collision with reality. Mike Tyson says, everybody’s got a plan until they get punched in the mouth. So you get punched in the mouth? Are you going to abandon ship? Are you going to throw in the towel? Are you going to quit everything? pull the ripcord? Sure I can come up with another. Another fun term here. If you give me a second, are you going to quit? Are you going to keep going? How will you deal with setbacks? So a whole I know how to do something, but I’m actually doing it. It’s a literacy versus wellness kind of thing. So part of making sure that you have the right resources to actually make the changes you want to make is can I create new habits? Can I create structure? Can I create routines? Can I create accountability? Where can I do these things, so that I’m actually sustaining the things that I want. So I want you to have whatever you want, I want you to have sustainable success. I want you to be happy and healthy for as long as you possibly can be. And while life is very long, talked about it’s very short. So three years can go by in the blink of an eye 10 years, 1520 years. Now’s the time. Whether you’re 15 years old, are you 65 years old, now is the time to be considering and making the changes that you are looking for. And then it’s a function of really being honest with yourself, are you where’s the fear is their fears, their anxieties, their apprehension? What are you worried about? When you start making changes, things are going to happen, you will encounter that internal resistance and internal fear you will encounter external resistance, you start acting differently people will notice. So how are you going to handle that? And instead of avoiding it, if your spouse is a smoker, and you’re a smoker and you quit smoking? That’s going to be really, really tricky. Or if you’re trying to get into public speaking, and it terrifies the heck out of you. How are you going to overcome those feelings? So instead of avoiding them, lean, steer directly into them. Ask for the help that you need. Be honest with yourself. I’m struggling with this terrified of this. How can I address that fear, name it and move with it until you do actually overcome it? And or come that doesn’t mean that the fear goes away necessarily. It means that you’re doing what you need to do in spite of the way that you’re feeling. So sounds easy. Does hard or maybe it sounds hard and also does hard. However you want to think about it. But Bill Parcells was right. You are what your record says you are. Sometimes that’s a sucky thing. Sometimes where I am at is not where I want to be or where I thought I wanted to end up. And the answer, from my perspective is not to rationalize. It’s not to try and explain away why it is that I am, where I am at as you are, where you are at. So what’s the score of the game that you’re playing? What’s your record? More importantly, what are you going to do about it? So many resources that are out there to help you. Excited about the purpose book, that is certainly a quick resource you can read in 90 minutes and have a lot of this stuff figured out. The idea is, it’s your guide to unexamined and aligned life. That’s really what I’ve been talking about. So I encourage you to check that out. And mostly, mostly, what I encourage you to do is do your part by doing your best