Trust the Process: How to Get What You Want

You’ve gotta trust the process. Have you ever heard that? You’ve ever been told that? Have you ever thought that and I go, You know what? I’m not sure this is working. But I know I have to trust the process. Well, I’ve heard that. I’ve heard that a lot of said that probably way too much in how you start saying something, and they say it over and over again, becomes really annoying to everybody. Probably super guilty of that. Maybe you’ve even noticed me doing that. Anyway. For me in my life, when I realized when I recognized, think about trusting the process is that people who say trust the process, those are the people who the process the process has worked for. Gotta trust the process. Well, if you know that the process actually will yield you, the results that you are looking for, then becomes a lot easier to trust that process. But if you’re very uncertain, if you’re very unsure if you’re, if you are embarking on something that is very challenging, and the likelihood of success is not necessarily that high, becomes a lot more difficult to trust the process. Specifically, my wife and I needed to go through fertility stuff to have kids. And it’s amazing, by the way, the technology and the innovations that are available that can help people to have kids that had issues. It’s incredible. And what we heard was you have to trust the process, you have to trust the process, trust the process. And now, here we are. Seven or eight years later, I should probably know exactly when that process started. But it certainly worked for us we have a six year old three year old and a essentially two month old. So Trump process in that one worked. But I’m much more fond of instead of saying trust the process, I like to say, fall in love with the doing. Fall in love with the doing. thing about me is that I figured out that that’s really what I am is I am a human doing. Some people get cute, and they say I’m a human being. I’ve struggled with that one. I am much more of a human doing. Have you ever thought about what your spirit animal is? It’s kind of fun. I like to joke around with it more. So then I like to be serious about it. But if I had to name one animal, my spirit animal would be a beaver. And that’s because with a beaver, you could put a beaver in Manhattan. Throw that sucker on Broadway. And he’s he or she’s going to build a dam. Right on Broadway. That’s what beavers do. Like, Oh, great. Here I am. Time to start building a dam. If you drop me anywhere, probably going to start podcasting. Probably going to start writing. Probably going to start talking to people about money stuff. It’s just, I am wired to do things. Not to say I can’t sit still I certainly can. But I am more happy. I am happier doing moving around doing things. So you might think that I’m a total psycho. Or the stuff that I’m going to talk about right now might really resonate with you, hopefully, somewhere in the middle. Hopefully it resonates with you while you think about me as a total psycho. I’m good with it either way. So why don’t talk about is why it is that you are thinking about a trust in the process or shifting your perspective a little bit and falling in love with the doing. Because I imagine if you were like me, you found yourself or find yourself in a situation or position where things aren’t going perfect. Things are not going exactly to plan like Oh, how did I end up here? This is not what I expected and or necessarily what I want. And I want to help you get what you want. Whatever that is, I want to help you get what you want. So are you in need of a revolution? Or perhaps you are in need of an evolution? Somebody just told me this yesterday. I love that. Like are you in need of a revolution or an evolution? subtle differences. Revolution is a one time event might take a little while but it is we are sick of this and we’re not going to take it anymore. Think the American Revolution. Get out of here. We are not good. We’re mad as hell. We’re not going to take it and evolution is an ongoing process. takes place over a long period of time it is continual, it is consistent. So if you are interested in making change, I advocate that you start an evolution, you engage in an evolution, I believe that our prime directive as human beings, number one, what we want and strive for and move towards is evolution. It is constant improvement, it is the realization of our ultimate potential. And that requires evolution. Maybe it requires a revolution here and there. But think that evolutions are far more sustainable, can be more consistent. You can’t have a revolution every day, you will burn right out pretty quickly. But you can constantly evolve. And whether you like it or not, you are constantly evolving, or we are be evolving, that’s a word, you’re either moving forward or we are slipping backwards. That’s just the human experience, we are either getting stronger, or we are getting weaker, we’re all getting older. But we’re either strengthening ourselves or we are, I guess you could be treading water. But more likely than not, we are getting weaker. So if you are unhappy with where you are at, you’re interested in making a change, are you wanting something different? Let’s start in evolution. Number one, so we have to recognize that this is not this is not ideal, this is suboptimal, what is going on in my life is I would like to make some changes, things need to be different. Number two is you need to make the decision that I’m actually going to change, I’m going to do something about this. Procrastination is one of the worst things in the world. Because when we procrastinate, nothing is created, nothing is done. There’s no energy that’s taking place. We’re just sitting there. So we are treading water, we’re thinking about what we’re going to do. We’re planning to make plans. And we’re aiming we’re aiming and we’re aiming and we’re aiming, and we’re aiming, and we’re dreaming, and daydreaming, and bla bla bla, bla bla, we need to make the decision to change, and then put a plan together and everything else. So recognize you’re not happy, decide that you’re actually going to do something about it. And then figure out what it is that you really want. If what you have is not what you want. Well, let’s get clarity on what you really want. So what do you want? What changes do you want to make the service of helping you with that, you can access our free goals course, go to money, lemon academy.com courses, find it on the goals course. So I’m really good at naming things. Anyway. So figure out what it is that you want. And then when you know, okay, this is what I want. What matters for each one of those things. What matters for each one of those things, if you say you know what, I want to have a family. And I want to have a good and happy, successful relationship with the people in my family, with my loved ones, with my parents, with my siblings, with my spouse with my kids. That’s what I want. And right now there’s so much friction or there’s tension or whatever, there’s resentment. It’s just not going great. Okay, so we’re going to, you’re going to change this. So that’s what you want, what matters. To do that, we probably need to be spending quality, positive time with them. You need to find interests, things that your kids want to do that are interesting. And do those things and reinforce those. And make sure that everybody’s moving in the same direction. And you have you’re clear on what your values are, and what the responsibilities are. So just in every aspect of whatever it is that you want. You need to figure out what’s important and what matters. I talk about and call those. Your table stakes, because table stakes then are the behaviors that get you what matters. You could say okay, now I know I know what I want, I understand what matters. Now what actions what behaviors need to actually be executed on a daily, weekly, monthly or whatever basis. Those are our table stakes, table stakes get you into the game. These are minimums. These are things I have to do in order to get what I want. These are what have to be done.

Different example is if you want to be a healthy person if you want to help The body need to have proper nutrition, need to have proper exercise. So what you put in your mouth, how you move your body. So table stakes, there might be, you know, an hour of movement every day, or 20 minutes of movement every day, it could be only eating a certain number of calories every day. Whatever it is, just figure out what those table stakes are, what those minimums are, that in order to get what I want, in order to do what matters, this is what must be done. So figure out what those behaviors are. And then it’s a function of, we need to create habits and routines around them. Spend a lot of time thinking about the relationship between habits and routines. I think that we all, like so many things in life, we have a good understanding of what habits are and what routines are. But I shouldn’t have said that we have, we know what they are, but we don’t have a deeper good understanding of what they actually are. And I don’t know that we have a deeper good understanding of what our actual habits and routines are. So habit is what time you wake up. And I really advocate that you have a solid habit around, I wake up at a certain time every day. And then your routine is what activities you do to get yourself ready and outdoor or to start your day could also be I exercise every day. That’s a that’s a habit of mine, daily exercise. And then your routine is what the actual activities are, that comprise that workout. So you need to I advocate you don’t need to do and then do whatever you want. If you want to make these changes, if you want to engage in an evolution, figure out what habits will get you where you want to go figure out again, this is what I want. This is what matters. And each of the areas that I want, these are the behaviors that are required to get those things. And now I’m building habits and routines to support those things. Make sense? You got it, you’re super smart person. I don’t need to tell you any more about that. And then it’s a function of then fall in love with the doing. So say trust the process, say fall in love with the doing because now you know. Now, you know if you do these things, will you lose weight? Yes. If you do these things, will you be physically stronger? Yes. If you do these things, will you have a better relationship with your family? Yes, yes to all those things. So fall in love with the doing, embrace the suck, embrace the grind, because that’s what it’s going to be. You’re not going to feel like it all the time. But that’s not relevant. You do it, whether or not you feel like it or not. You are a human doing. You do things you do what matters. And that’s what matters. byproducts of that. So many great things will come along with this so many great things, you will develop confidence, which is a human superpower, for sure. And what is confidence is the belief that you can do things like I got this. I know how to do this. And it’s also the ability to shrug off when it doesn’t go your way. It’s way too many people out there that when they’re doing something and they hit a bump in the road, then they quit. They pull the ripcord they throw the baby out with the bathwater, all these things is out well. I guess that doesn’t work. Not true. It’ll work. You just need to keep at it. And that’s what confidence will bring you. It’s the ability to be more resilient in the face of adversity. Because believe it or not, you may know this. Things don’t always go your way. don’t always get what you want. Eventually you will but maybe not right now. He keeps doing these things. You keep doing it. Keep doing it. Keep building those dams keep acting like the beaver, you will develop self discipline, you will develop resilience you will develop confidence, nothing but an awesome thing and you will get closer to that life that you want and will get closer to the person that you want. That’s what I want for me. That’s what I want for you. Remember, do your part by doing your best