Top 4 Saboteurs of Intuitive Women Leaders

Intuitive women leaders have 4 saboteurs in common that I’ve noticed in working with them over the last 15 years.  In this blog, I am borrowing the definitions of saboteurs from PositiveIntelligence.com.  I’ll explain the Judge Saboteur in more detail, and I’ll highlight the other three saboteurs and how they derail you. In the next few blogs, I’ll go deeper into each one.

Shirzad Chamine, the founder of Positive Intelligence, has done extensive research on the subject of saboteurs.  Note: I’m currently in the process of becoming certified in this modality as a PI coach. He’s found that people have 10 saboteurs.  We typically have two or three that are stronger than others, but we do have some of each saboteur.  The Judge Saboteur is the master saboteur whom everyone has. There are nine accomplice saboteurs who work with the Judge to wreak havoc in our lives.

I have a free class coming up to help support you in stopping this workaholic pattern and to really begin to live fully alive. See below to register. I am here to support you.

It will devilishly tell that you’re not very smart or good or worthy enough to go after your dreams. It has you hide your true self. It will “rational-lies” a/k/a rationalize decisions that make you right and them wrong. At the end of the day if you’re right on a lonely island called yourself, does it really matter?

They will cause you to think and feel certain negative ways on autopilot. They create all of your anxiety and self-doubt. They will sabotage your career, business, your relationships, your health, basically your success.

My intention in writing this is not to help you eliminate your saboteurs.  That would be impossible and not even desirable due to the nature of reality as described above. My goal is to help you recover more quickly from Saboteur high jacking and live in Sage mode. When you do this, conscious female leader, everything will begin to change.

The hidden barriers to your success, what have stopped you from living fully, will become evident.  This includes your thoughts that tell you you’re a fraud, not good enough, not worthy of successs, for whatever reason.  Once you see the pattern, you can then do something about it.

I’ve picked out the 4 saboteurs that seem to afflict women leaders the most, but of course, you might have one of the other 5 saboteurs not discussed here.  For a full review of all ten saboteurs, go here.

Some of us can have a Judge very weaponized against us. Shirzad demonstrated his judge to us students in a video, and it was very harsh, critical, and abusive to him. He admits that the Judge never goes away, but the negative impact is small because he recovers more quickly from its tirades and doesn’t believe what it tells him.

Others have a Judge against themselves who is more subtle.  It won’t bash them with blatant, mean words. It will whisper lies to them that they shouldn’t take a risk because they don’t need the hassle and they couldn’t handle it anyway.

Judge Against Others

Others have a Judge who doesn’t want to look at what’s  really going on with themselves. They minimize their part in things. It will have them avoid taking responsibility because it’s too painful to look at. This Judge will focus on blaming and judging others more so than self.

Judge Against Circumstances

 

 

To change beliefs, neural pathways, we have to create new habits of thought.  To do this, you can do a pattern interrupt type of behavior, what Shirzad calls a “PQ rep.” PQ is the equivalent of Positive Intelligence like IQ or EQ is for Intellectual and Emotional Intelligence, respectively.

A PQ repetition is where you focus intently on a body sensation, like rubbing the thumb and finger together and noticing the ridges of the fingertips.  This action diverts our attention away from the negative thought pattern we were just having about how insufficient we are.

Example: You begin to feel insecure and anxious about an upcoming meeting where you’ll be presenting.

2 minutes. That’s all it takes to change your state from anxious to calm and confident.

Women in leadership are naturally driven to succeed.  So it makes sense, doesn’t it, that they would have a Hyper-Achiever Saboteur?  Achievement and striving for excellence in and of itself is wonderful.  We can be in Sage mode and achieve many things. In fact, we can achieve more when we are in Sage mode.

However, when a natural drive such as achievement is taken too far, it becomes a saboteur. Achievement begins to feel forced. We require it, like a drug, to feel good about ourselves. In fact, hyper-achievement is like an addiction. It rules us, instead of us controlling it.

Our Home Didn’t Feel Safe

If you are an intuitive and empathic woman leader, you are in tune with what people are thinking and feeling.  You probably grew up very sensitive to all of the energies around you in your household, like I did.  And often our home environment when growing up didn’t feel comfortable, secure or safe for a myriad of reasons.

Because of this unsafe environment, our nervous system maladapted to a “new norm.” We began to try to control the things we had some measure of control over. It gave us emotional relief to control our physical environment, for example, keeping it neat, tidy and organized.

Being organized, orderly and in control of processes and procedures are great traits for conscious women leaders.  When taken too far with controlling, however, we can destroy the quality of our lives and relationships.

This morning, when I was working out, I had this thought.  When we are controlling, we tend to think “We know best.” We are great at problem solving and “fixing others” who want none of our help.

Per PositiveIntelligence.com, the People-Pleaser “Indirectly tries to gain acceptance and affection by helping, pleasing, rescuing, or flattering others. Loses sight of own needs and becomes resentful as a result.”

Much Love,

Angie Monko,

Life Coach for Intuitive Women Leaders