Succeeding at life isn’t easy, but it’s available to everyone.
It’s also highly personal. Your idea of success is and should be, different from mine.
What does success look like for you? You see, it’s imperative to get clear on the answer to that question. The only way to live how you want, is to know how you want to live.
And we all need to stop worrying about what other people are doing. Stop worrying about strangers on social media, stop worrying about what your mom wants, and start focusing on what you want.
You’re competing against yesterday’s version of you, and you’re doing it with an eye on the clock. We all need a sense of urgency, remembering that we don’t have that much time.
Why do this? As Socrates said, “The unexamined life is not worth living” meaning it’s valuable and wise to ask questions and to think about our lives.
And you don’t want to get to the end of your life and be faced with regret. Here are some of the biggest regrets people share on their deathbeds:
Time goes slowly when we’re young and speeds up as we get older. The time to think about this is now.
To help you on your journey of examination, I’ve curated a set of questions to ask yourself. I did this because I know asking giant questions like “Who am I?” and “What do I want my life to look like?” can be difficult to answer.
Treat this like a worksheet and take the time to write your answers. Writing allows us to go deeper in our thinking.
I’m going to focus on these six areas (feel free to add any others):
Let’s get started.
Again, the goal is to figure out how you want your life to look.
In each area, go through and write down your answers. I’ll go through Family to provide you with an example:
General questions
What aspect, if you made an improvement, would give you the greatest return of energy?
Proactively planning and scheduling important activities into my calendar so they don’t slip through the cracks. I just started running a lemonade stand with my oldest, and he wants to do it more often, so scheduling one Sunday a month to do it makes sense.
What currently feels impossible to do that, if it were possible, would have the greatest impact?
Giving my mom the attention and time she wants has been difficult for me. Planning ahead so I carve out time for her would make a big difference.
What aspect are you most satisfied with? Least satisfied with?
My wife and I have done a good job of prioritizing time for the two of us. My relationship with my mom is the area that needs the most attention.
What are avoiding right now?
I’m avoiding projects and chores to be done around the house.
What are you avoiding talking about?
Challenges in my relationship with my father.
Which of your behaviors are contributing to unhappiness?
Spending too much time on my phone.
What are you most worried about?
The world my kids are growing up in.
What do you wish you had more time to do?
Sit down and have more meals together.
What’s the most important thing that you should be focused on right now?
Giving my kids my undivided attention when I’m with them.
Time
What will you spend time on?
Anything related to my kid’s interests.
What will you not spend time on?
Anything on my phone.
Attention
What will you give your attention to?
Positive activities we can do together like hiking, sports and music to name a few.
What will you not give your attention to?
TV and or screens.
Money
What will you spend money on?
Experiences.
What will you not spend money on?
Material possessions.
Now, it’s your turn
For each of the six areas, think about and write how you want your life to look.
Family
General questions
What aspect, if you made an improvement, would give you the greatest return of energy?
What currently feels impossible to do that, if it were possible, would have the greatest impact?
What aspect are you most satisfied with? Least satisfied with?
What are avoiding right now?
What are you avoiding talking about?
Which of your behaviors are contributing to unhappiness?
What are you most worried about?
What do you wish you had more time to do?
What’s the most important thing that you should be focused on right now?
Time
What will you spend time on?
What will you not spend time on?
Attention
What will you give your attention to?
What will you not give your attention to?
Money
What will you spend money on?
What will you not spend money on?
Community
General questions
What aspect, if you made an improvement, would give you the greatest return of energy?
What currently feels impossible to do that, if it were possible, would have the greatest impact?
What aspect are you most satisfied with? Least satisfied with?
What are avoiding right now?
What are you avoiding talking about?
Which of your behaviors are contributing to unhappiness?
What are you most worried about?
What do you wish you had more time to do?
What’s the most important thing that you should be focused on right now?
Time
What will you spend time on?
What will you not spend time on?
Attention
What will you give your attention to?
What will you not give your attention to?
Money
What will you spend money on?
What will you not spend money on?
Money and Career
General questions
What aspect, if you made an improvement, would give you the greatest return of energy?
What currently feels impossible to do that, if it were possible, would have the greatest impact?
What aspect are you most satisfied with? Least satisfied with?
What are avoiding right now?
What are you avoiding talking about?
Which of your behaviors are contributing to unhappiness?
What are you most worried about?
What do you wish you had more time to do?
What’s the most important thing that you should be focused on right now?
Time
What will you spend time on?
What will you not spend time on?
Attention
What will you give your attention to?
What will you not give your attention to?
Money
What will you spend money on?
What will you not spend money on?
WellBeing
General questions
What aspect, if you made an improvement, would give you the greatest return of energy?
What currently feels impossible to do that, if it were possible, would have the greatest impact?
What aspect are you most satisfied with? Least satisfied with?
What are avoiding right now?
What are you avoiding talking about?
Which of your behaviors are contributing to unhappiness?
What are you most worried about?
What do you wish you had more time to do?
What’s the most important thing that you should be focused on right now?
Time
What will you spend time on?
What will you not spend time on?
Attention
What will you give your attention to?
What will you not give your attention to?
Money
What will you spend money on?
What will you not spend money on?
Personal development
General questions
What aspect, if you made an improvement, would give you the greatest return of energy?
What currently feels impossible to do that, if it were possible, would have the greatest impact?
What aspect are you most satisfied with? Least satisfied with?
What are avoiding right now?
What are you avoiding talking about?
Which of your behaviors are contributing to unhappiness?
What are you most worried about?
What do you wish you had more time to do?
What’s the most important thing that you should be focused on right now?
Time
What will you spend time on?
What will you not spend time on?
Attention
What will you give your attention to?
What will you not give your attention to?
Money
What will you spend money on?
What will you not spend money on?
Peace of mind
General questions
What aspect, if you made an improvement, would give you the greatest return of energy?
What currently feels impossible to do that, if it were possible, would have the greatest impact?
What aspect are you most satisfied with? Least satisfied with?
What are avoiding right now?
What are you avoiding talking about?
Which of your behaviors are contributing to unhappiness?
What are you most worried about?
What do you wish you had more time to do?
What’s the most important thing that you should be focused on right now?
Time
What will you spend time on?
What will you not spend time on?
Attention
What will you give your attention to?
What will you not give your attention to?
Money
What will you spend money on?
What will you not spend money on?
Conclusion
What are your thoughts and feelings about going through this?
How would you like to feel about it?
What changes will you need to make your desired reality your current?
What would happen if you made those changes?
What will you do?
You’ve got one shot at this life, it’s time to get to work on doing it your way.
The only way to live how you want, is to know how you want to live.
You’re fully capable of succeeding at life. Get started.
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