Personal Freedom with Monica Parikh

george grombacher 0:00
Come on I’m left with this is George G. And the time is right. welcome today’s guest strong and powerful Monica Pareek. Monica, are you ready to do this?

Unknown Speaker 0:18
So orange, I think this is the third time you and I have had conversation and each time is just more fun than the last. So I am so looking forward to hanging out with you today.

george grombacher 0:29
Yeah, it is. It is the third time and it is always a pleasure. So excited to have you back on. Monica is an attorney. She is a relationship expert, a writer, a speaker coach, she’s the founder of school of love NYC and she is a world traveler. Monica, tell us a little about your personal life’s more about your work and why you do what you do.

Unknown Speaker 0:49
So I actually teach psychology and higher consciousness, my focus is on loving relationships and the ascension of consciousness to the fifth dimension. I have been spending the last actually five months traveling throughout Europe Island topping in Europe. And one of the things I’ve been doing, George is, you know, I obviously like everyone else and very concerned and aware of the shifting economic reality. So I’ve been kind of investigating places where my dollar will go farther. And thinking about maybe it’s time to jump the pond given digitalization and our ability to work from anywhere in the world and to find myself a little idealic you know, place to sit in safety, make money and spend a lot less than it costs me to live in the United States. And how has that been? It’s been so eye opening, I have been having such a good time. You know, right now I’m in Slovenia. I never imagined coming to Slovenia, actually. But you know, one of the things I’d love to do is I love to talk to different people. And everyone was like, you have to go to the capital of Slovenia. And I said, Okay, it’s just right over the border from Italy. So I said, Sure, I’ll come. And it is so amazingly beautiful here safe, very little crime. And it’s the greenest city in Europe. So there are actually no cars in the city, everyone walks or bicycles. They have electric carts for people with you know, get tired or have mobility issues to take you around the city. And there are tons of things I like, like vegan restaurants and bookstores and outdoor dining. And I find people really Hoppy, happy and positive here. And there’s a big crypto currency movement here. So it’s been exciting traveling from country to country. Of course, since I study and teach consciousness full time for living, even feeling the vibrational frequency of every country I land in, has been also completely eye opening. So I don’t know I’m having I feel a little bit I just turned 50 George this year, and I feel a little bit like a kid in high school. I feel like I’m on summer vacation, but adult style.

george grombacher 3:08
What an incredible thing. So it sounds like everybody knows now going to go to Slovenia, because what you just described sounds pretty awesome. So

Unknown Speaker 3:17
well. I hope I don’t wreck it with overtourism. Like some of the other places I’ve been. But certainly there are lots of places in the world where people are living fantastically beautiful lives.

george grombacher 3:27
Oh, I’m glad to hear that. So consciousness, happiness, money, craziness. You are navigating all of these things. You’re you’re you’re navigating world travel, you’re obviously this stuff costs money. And so how, how are you making it all work? I think that we’re all struggling right now.

Unknown Speaker 3:53
Yeah, you know, so to be honest with you, George, I did not grow up with a silver spoon in my mouth quite the opposite. My parents were both immigrants to the United States. My father came from India. And he came to the United States with $200 in his pocket. And my mother came from Spain, and she was the youngest of seven and a poor farming family. And she didn’t come with anything. So she came and slept on her brother’s couch. So when I was growing up, money was a very big topic in my family’s household, probably because we never had a lot of it. And my parents had big dreams for us. They wanted us to be educated. They wanted us to do well in the world, but they were always very concerned about money. And, you know, now looking back, I think, Wow, what a phenomenal education I got in financial literacy from a very early age because, you know, to give you an example, my mother when she would pack our lunch for school would make us bring the brown paper bag back home because she didn’t want to waste the brown paper bag and when I would say You know, compare myself to a lot of American kids who got allowances and lots of gifts at the holidays, and maybe their parents paid for their education and threw them big weddings. I didn’t get any of that. So, you know, from a very early age, I had a very different sort of understanding of money, and was always exceptionally frugal, because I didn’t have it. And, you know, now looking back, one of the reasons, you know, I reached out to you was that I know that inflation and the changing economics is causing a lot of stress on people. And I kind of wanted to deliver a message of hope to people just because I’ve been so have not for such a large portion of my life. But through disciplined, consistent and steady Financial Action, you know, have now reached a very good financial position for myself at an early age. And I don’t think that I’m special, I don’t think I’m smarter than anybody else. But I definitely don’t think I followed the herd mentality about money. I think that I took certain things. And I applied them certain financial principles, and I applied them consistently, and they really do work.

george grombacher 6:20
Nice. So I think a lot of the time, and think for me, growing up in a household where money was scarce, that imprinted sort of negative, that kind of caused me to avoid a lot of financial matters. But it doesn’t sound like you fell into that trap.

Unknown Speaker 6:45
I think it’s anything that real thing for me mentally has been, and I’m still working my way through it psychologically, is to still not think of myself as poor. You know, like, when I scan the menu, I typically will pick the cheapest item on the menu, because I always, my mind is always there. But at the same time, you know, one of the things that my dad did for so my father recently passed away, and one of the things that he did for me, very early on in my life, right when I graduated from college, my father wanted me to buy, he wanted me to study finance, and or study and understand how the stock market worked and how finance worked. And I really didn’t, to be honest with you, I didn’t have that much of an interest. So what my dad did was he subscribed Money Magazine for me, which I don’t know, probably the subscription is something like 12 bucks a year. And he sent it to my house. And even then I didn’t really want to read it. But when I was like, you know, in the bathroom, I would read it or when I you know, I would read it. And so I still slowly started picking up things that a lot of people talk about, you know, about index funds, for example, being a very good investment vehicle. So what ended up happening was, you know, I was slowly learning without really even wanting to learn, I generally speaking have, you know, I think everyone should pay their taxes, but where you can minimize your taxes you should. So I, you know, in reading this magazine learned a lot about index funds, compound interest, which is a phenomenal tool to earn more money. I learned about 401, k’s and employer sponsored plans, and how that was a great tax vehicle to pay less in taxes. And so what ended up happening was, you know, when I talk a lot about my own divorce, I went through a very traumatic divorce and at the end of my marriage, which was a 10 year relationship, I got the whopping amount of $25,000 as a settlement, and I’m sure you can hear the dripping sarcasm in my voice, especially because my husband at the time was making my ex husband at the time was making $400,000 So I really got proverbially screwed. And what I decided to do with that $25,000 Was I bought in I bought Vanguard Index funds, well within five years that $25,000 became $75,000. And I think at that point, a real light went off in my head, where I said, you know, you can passively invest money, you have these people who are doing it for you, if you can keep the fees exceptionally low, you can you know, make more money because you have more money to compound and you know, so that was like one on Devitt is learning how to be an investor but then the other part of it was always living way below my means. You know, so I graduated from law school in 1999 with Six figures of debt. And what I saw was that my classmates, you know, at that time in 1999, the legal market was really robust. And people were making $125,000 out of the gate, which you know, when you’re 28 years old is an ungodly amount of money. And so a lot of people were going hog wild, they were renting their apartments in Greenwich Village and in Wall Street. And I sort of took the opposite route, where I ended up moving out to Queens to save money. And I, you know, would pack my lunch every day for probably the 20 years, I practiced, I practice, I practice for law for 20 years, I packed a lunch every day, and I would get made fun of by a lot of my colleagues, you know, who would see me heating up my lentil soup in the microwave. And I thought to myself, well, you’re making fun of me, but I’m almost finished paying off my student loans. And so my mind just generally, since I’ve been young, has always been towards freedom, autonomy and sovereignty. I’ve never wanted to be a slave to anyone. And I realized that the greatest slavery is financial slavery, that when you buy more than you earn, when you buy stuff you don’t need when you waste money. You know, one of the things I talk about let’s relationship psychology is the way we invest money in depreciable assets. And that you have to be in a couple, you know, a very enlightened couple, even when you plan a big wedding, is that a great use of your money? Or would you buy a house, you know, so having have not been the norm for a long time?

george grombacher 11:46
Some really, really powerful stuff, freedom, autonomy and sovereignty. It strikes me that, that those, you recognize this is the most important thing to me, and others, and certainly myself over, you know, when I was younger, I valued those things that that that your coworkers valued. How do you? Do you think that was just just sort of in your DNA? And then your experience growing up? And how do you coach people to shift their thinking towards that?

Unknown Speaker 12:21
I mean, you know, George, if I was going to be really honest with you, I would tell you that I come from a family that is very anti authoritarian. And we just always have in this is both of my parents, this was my father, and this was my mother, we just hope they questioned everything they were told. And obviously, you know, that probably germinated with them getting married in the 1960s, with my dad was a Hindu, and my mom was a Catholic, and they were throwing off rules. And they were saying, This is how we’re going to live. And, you know, anytime you decide to think differently from everyone else, you, you’re gonna pay a price. But from the time I was a kid, I would question teachers, I would question principals, I was always a leader. And that was very threatening to a lot of authority. So you know, fast forward, and I’ve got $100,000 in student loan debt, and I need a job, right? So I started working for, you know, first I work for big law firms, then I worked for government for many years, I worked for government for 15 years, and really like to tie this into money. What started to dawn on me was that, you know, of course, I was doing a lot of personal development work, and I was understanding my personality more and more. And I was looking around at work at the people that I worked with, who had been there for many, many years, you know, we’re like in their 50s, and their 60s and their 70s. And there was a complacency and a tiredness on them. And I thought, I don’t want to end up like that. So I what ended up happening was I was studying relationship psychology, and I had gotten to a level that very few people get to so I said, Well, I should start a side hustle. You know, so part of my money one on one is everyone should have a side hustle. But more than that, everyone should have a life purpose, which is different than a job. So I had my job which was practicing law, and I liked it very much, you know, for the intellectual aspects. I did not like working for other people. I did not like being told what to do by people who I did not feel were as intelligent or ethical as me. So I started my side hustle thinking, I don’t know if I had a goal for it to actually go anywhere except for the fact that I was going to bring in some extra money and move into something that felt much more purpose driven for me. And the first year I made $25,000 in my business and Although that wasn’t great money, it was great money to have $25,000 Extra, you know, $25,000 Extra to pay off debt that I had was carrying $25,000 Extra to maybe take a trip $25,000 Extra to put in index funds. So I, at that point, what started happening was a fire was growing in my belly, where I said, You know what, I can open this cage and be free. If I keep working, and I keep going for my goals, I will figure this out. And I can be free soon. And I think you know, this, George, because I’ve come on your show in the past. I ended my 20 year career as a lawyer as a whistleblower against the government. And I think I would not have done that. Had I not had this side hustle, bringing me money that was growing every year, where I was starting to get really empowered to say, I don’t have to put up with this BS anymore. And I don’t have to sit and swallow it. And I’m going to tell the truth, if no one else will. And I really felt that it was that economic empowerment that allowed me to do that. So, you know, to answer your question, I think it’s a lot of things. I think it’s one coming to terms with who you are as a person, are you sovereign? Can you make your own way and be your own person? Or are you I mean, for lack of a better word, a slave to the man. And I knew I was not going to be a slave to the man ever. Now, that doesn’t mean it was easy. There were moments I was white knuckling my whole way through, especially after I lost my job, you know, after I whistle blew, my father died at the same time, and it put me in charge of my family. And I was white knuckling like I’ve never white knuckled in my whole life. Because, you know, I was now the first time as a full time business owner. And I became the plaintiff in a lawsuit against the government, which I was paying enormously high legal fees. And then I somehow became the head of the household for my family. And all of that just put me almost on my knees. But it also gave me so much courage that I had not had, you know, previous inlay in my life before that.

george grombacher 17:24
If you want something done, give it to a busy person, Monica.

Unknown Speaker 17:32
You probably know that better than anybody.

george grombacher 17:36
I appreciate very much appreciate you sharing story. And you’d think that the doesn’t everybody want that? Doesn’t everybody want freedom? Doesn’t everybody want autonomy? Doesn’t everybody wants sovereignty, but you may want it, but if you never take any action, and actually move towards it, and position yourself to actually have those things, that it’s never gonna happen. So

Unknown Speaker 18:05
I mean, you’re the best person to speak about this, you know, with because it just takes a lot. Right? Like, you know, I mean, you get up every day, we talked about this, the other times, I’ve been on your show, you get up every day at what 430 In the morning, right? And I have three to get to the level of psychology that I’ve gotten to less than 1% of the world gets that right. So I basically have taken on law. And then after that I took on psychology, and those two masters, let’s call them took a lot out of me, you know, and so like any time you’re dreaming of something, you know, and I think part of it was I was recently talking to my financial advisor. So I was saying to him, that part of it is my fear of being poor again, like my fear of being poor chases me everywhere. And I don’t want to go back to worrying about the price of a dime, brown bag, like not that I want to be wasteful. I never want to be wasteful. And I always want to be humble and know where I’ve come from. But I don’t want to worry, you know, one of the things that happened to me when I lost my job was I got into this pivotal moment in my life where I said, What am I going to do? Am I going to look for jobs for the rest of my life and always come up against the same problem, which is incompetent management. Like and I started looking around at the people I knew and I said, Who’s happy here. And the only people that I could say were actually really, really happy were the people who were doing what they were born to do, and giving it to as many people as they could give it to and valuing their time and energy and the efforts of giving it and but at that moment, you know, fear was like just get your resume together. there and hit the street again. And faith was sort of that movement that says, Monica, you can do this, you will figure this out, you will build your clientele base and you will be able to be yourself in the world. And so I think that’s really what it always comes down to is like you’re always at the fork in the road between fear and faith and which is going to win out and the people who don’t move towards that sovereignty, because I don’t know, George, tell me what you think. But I feel right now, that is the number one issue is are you going to be sovereign and especially, you know, with a lot of what we’ve seen in the last year, which, from my perspective, as a lawyer is unconstitutional mandates that are coming up against body sovereignty. And employment is being hooked into them, meaning that a lot of people are being forced to take COVID vaccines they don’t want to take to keep their jobs. And I think the pivotal moment is are you going to be in fear? Or are you going to be in faith that you can handle this situation and figure out a new path for yourself, but they are not, you know, and I really honest, like to say that I was white knuckling like I was in a fetal position crying a lot. And I would just get up, and I would exercise and meditate and put my head together day after day after day and say, Now I’m going to figure this out. And I’m still doing that, you know, it hasn’t stopped. It’s just, I’m more conditioned to the stress of it now.

george grombacher 21:30
Yeah. And you recognize that, that you’re doing the things that you want to be doing, and that it’s aligned, and you have, and are experiencing that freedom and that autonomy to be able to make your own decisions. And when you do that, you know, I don’t know that, that that term, when you love what you do, you never work a day in your life, I don’t know that that’s an accurate statement. But I very much value the dignity in labor, and I like to work hard. And it needs to be for and aligned to that purpose that you’ve been talking about. So So I totally get it I am I still, at some point, in my day of everyday in my life, my knuckles do appear to be white and turn white.

Unknown Speaker 22:15
Well, you know, it really gave me an appreciation for my dad, my dad worked two jobs my entire life. And, you know, stepping into the head of household shoes, was like another perspective of just how much stress a lot of heads of households carry silently and calmly, but I can’t imagine all of us aren’t on some level white knuckling pretty much every day of our lives. And, you know, maybe, maybe, I think the I think one of the most damaging things that’s happened, because of social media is that one, there’s been too much of a mythology that wealth creation is easy. When it’s not, it’s actually quite difficult. And but that’s okay, too, you know, things just are hard. And that’s all right, because they build strength and resilience and other skills. And then the second mythology is that we, I think, have gotten really away from our value system, which our value system is exactly what you’ve defined, it’s being in alignment with the gifts you’ve been given. Doing something that you feel is really socially valuable and meaningful in the world, and being a positive influence to society. And we’ve gotten away from that with too much consumerism, you know, where we’re seeing, like, the constant bombardment of images of like, 1000 purses in your closet, and like, you know, and this one’s like, on a yacht in the Mediterranean, you know, so like, we’ve gotten away from like, what is what is the purpose of life, and I really do think it is the authentic expression of who God created you to be and living in alignment with what your truth is, and being sovereign. So, you know, one of the big things it’s been, honestly, it’s been money in the bank for me, is now at my job, I always tell the truth. People may not like that, but that’s what I’m being called here to do by a higher order. And, you know, I tell the truth, whereas before, what I felt was, there was a lot of untruths, masquerading as truths. And, look, if that’s how you make your money and you can sleep with yourself at night. More power to you, but that’s not me. And I’m going to be me, you know,

george grombacher 24:49
guess what well said. Well, Monica, thank you so much for coming back on where can people learn more about you? How can they engage with you?

Unknown Speaker 24:57
They can definitely go to my website, which is WD WW school of love nyc.com I have a free book on there for everyone called take back the power. It’s a serialized book that comes in a weekly installment. So if you’re interested in matters of psychology and consciousness how to be a more peaceful and loving person how to deescalate fighting in your own family, I would welcome you to just sign up for that newsletter.

george grombacher 25:24
If you enjoyed as much as I did show Monica your appreciation and share today’s show with a friend who also appreciates good ideas go to school of love and yc.com and sign up for take back the power and start continue along the path that we’ve been talking about or figure out how to get on that path. Thanks. Good, Monica.

Unknown Speaker 25:49
Thank you so much, George.

george grombacher 25:51
And until next time, keep fighting the good fight. We’re all in this together.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai