The only way to live how you want is to know how you want to live. So, the only way to live, how you want is to know how you want to live. It’s one of those. It’s like my Yogi Berra, one of my Yogi Berra isms. Sounds pretty obvious. But I know that I spent many, many, many, many years, just not really paying super close attention to that. And I didn’t answer that question of, What do you want your life to be like? Think I had plenty of passing ideas. And I was busy working hard in service of the things that I kind of wanted. But it was a very, for lack of a better term, a very siloed approach. I would work hard. This is my, my, sort of my business goals. And I had personal desires, and I had some hobbies, stuff like that. But I never really sat down and thought, what would I love my life to look like? Where would I like to spend more time who the kind of people I wanted to be? With? What would I like to be doing? What what do I want to get better at what’s important about my health, all those kinds of things. So while it’s one of those obvious, sayings or phrases to know what you want, most people don’t like, it’s a super important thing. And the reality is that we’re all operating under so many different expectations. There are expectations that our families have of us some way more than others, if you’re raised in a family of entrepreneurs, so entrepreneurship is just what it is that that you are conditioned or expected to do. Or maybe your folks are doctors, and so it’s medical school for me, I guess, or I’m an attorney, or a teacher, whatever. This is what we do, we play pickleball, or we, you know, we’re we’re a musical family, we’re under the theater, or vegans, whatever, so many expectations, pulling us around, and you’ve got your own expectations. And some of those are, are aligned to what greater society thinks of you are, some are just just your own, then there are the expectations of who you are. Maybe you are. If you’re a guy, maybe there’s feelings that you need to act a certain way or not act a certain way, you get the idea, constantly expectations upon us. And then we’re comparing ourselves and we’re wondering, Am I doing the things I’m supposed to be doing? Should I be doing this? Should I be doing that? And starting to wonder and ask these questions, I think is a really, really, really important starting point. There’s that very famous quote that the unexamined life is not worth living. And I totally agree with that. So something else I know for sure, is that we have one crack at this deal. With one lap around the track, we have one opportunity at life. So sooner we can start to explore what it is is most important to us what it is that we really want, the better off that we’re going to be. So I was reading, I saw an article in the Wall Street Journal, talking about how entrepreneurs famously work hard for many dangerously so. My god, that’s interesting. And the whole thing is, am I a workaholic? Or am I addicted to work? Am I an actual work addict? So just wonder what your sort of initial thoughts on that are. It’s fundamentally nobody’s business but your own, but I also don’t want to be engaged in destructive behavior or behavior that is just bad. So I think that that’s, that’s an interesting thing. So I wanted to talk a little bit about that, and share what my thoughts are, and opinions are on how to how to lead a good life, and good being subjective and living the life that you know, to be and you believe to be good. I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about what makes for a meaningful life. And that’s kind of I think, one of the big existential questions and really important question that maybe we don’t I that I didn’t necessarily know how to ask myself. I want very much to lead a meaningful purpose driven life. And I assume that lots of other people want to do that as well. And many of us, myself included, just kind of carried along. We have our familiar patterns. habits that we follow. So are these patterns and habits, getting me closer to the life that I want, or, if I don’t have any idea, it’s just carry me along to some direction in in the future that I don’t necessarily know if that’s the life that I want. So talking about balance this work life balance, if, if working too hard, as an entrepreneur can move into addiction, do I need to find a work life balance. And I think that that’s a fiction or a fallacy. Because the idea of balance is, I’m 5050, or I’m 33.3 33.3 33.3, everything is just in this perfect stasis all the time. And that’s just obviously never going to happen. So I’m finally talking about rhythm, we need to find the right rhythm for our lives. And just keep that going. Because there’s going to be certain times that I need to be, I need to place a greater emphasis on one aspect. And that means that other aspects are going to receive less time, attention, energy, or money, or whatever it might be. So the more we can figure out this is, this is what I want my life to look like. And once I understand that, here’s what’s going to get me there. And now I can make better informed decisions about how to allocate my resources. Because we have finite resources, I only have so many hours of the day, I’ve got so much money to devote to certain things, I only have so much energy and attention. And coming to the realization of the recognition that that is the case, then I can make better decisions about how to allocate those resources. So why it’s so important to have a good understanding of what it is that I want, who it is that I am, where it is that I’m going, all of these, all of these big questions, the more we can start asking ourselves, the closer that we will actually get to getting what we want. That’s, I guess, fundamentally, it is, I want to get what I want out of life. And if I can help you get closer to what you want. Well, I’m very, very interested in that. I think that that is nothing but a really, really, really positive thing. So finding the right rhythm for you, figuring out what is right for you. I’ve been spending a good amount of time thinking about the stages that we go through as human beings. And I don’t know that I’ve had any breakthroughs necessarily, but I feel like I’m getting closer. It’s the whole conversation. Or if you’ve ever heard, I’m a human being not a human doing. Like, oh, that’s, that’s, that’s, that’s pretty clever. And I started thinking more about that I’m like, Well, I’m actually more of a human doing that I’m a human being right now. And I wonder how I can get advance. So I think first stage is just I’m human, I’m just a blob, when I’m a baby, I have needs that I can’t meet on my own. There’s biological imperatives that I have, I need to eat, I need to sleep, I need to do these things. I need help doing all of it. And then we progress. And as we get older to become a human doing when I just start figuring out, okay, I have autonomy, I have agency, I can figure out what it is that I want. And I can then go and execute on this. And I think that the vast majority of us are just living in that stage. Like the vast majority of Iran 80% of human beings never actually get to the next stage, which is actually human doing, and a rather human being. So I think that that’s fascinating, actually progressing through that and figuring out what it is that that really means to you and the differences between those stages. But think that so much of life is really figuring out, figuring ourselves out, it’s doing that examination of our lives. Going back, the unexamined life is not worth living. I couldn’t agree more. So in the context of entrepreneurship, that doesn’t mean that everybody needs to be an entrepreneur doesn’t mean that you need to own a business or anything like that.
Because that could be right for you. I think something like seven to 10% of the population are entrepreneurial in nature. They’re this driven kind of a gene that get up every morning and they want to drive towards something. That doesn’t mean that that’s right for you. In fact, it could be the exact wrong thing for you and you might be the most unhappy entrepreneur in the world. Same thing goes for really everything in life. You need to figure out what it is that you want to figure out the work that You want to do? And figure out? If Okay, is that light up? If I, if I start doing that, am I going to be happy doing it? Am I going to be happy for doing that long term? So whether that’s entrepreneurship or a certain kind of field or whatever, we need to be asking ourselves these questions. And once you recognize, are you getting closer to that, because it’s not a game of perfect. I think that the number one human trait, that our prime directive, rule number one for human beings is that we need to constantly be progressing towards something, I need to be consistently improving, and getting better. And learning new information. I’m achieving mastery. I’m exploring new things. I’m a curious person. And I’m constantly evolving, doing and moving towards more of a human being. So constant progression in service of doing what you think, really matters. And this is at the heart of, of I think all of it. Because if I’m addicted to work, I’m a workaholic. Well, if you’re doing what it is that you believe to be purpose driven, if you’re engaged in work that you believe to be really important, if it is your work, then I questioned whether or not that that’s a bad thing. And the article goes and provides a lot of nuance into what tipped you over from being a workaholic to being an addict. And it’s makes a lot of sense. There’s certainly behaviors that are self destructive. And what I’m interested in, and I’m sure that you are, is having sustainable, having a sustainable life. And keeping all the plates spinning at the same time. If you have family, having a healthy family, great family, familial relationships, having successful work life, and whatever your hobbies and interests are, those are super, super important. But we need to figure out what matters. So I’d like to talk about how goals equal what it is that we want. So it’s a human superpower, to think about what you want your life to look like, then you can make plans and execute that and bring that desired reality into your, you know, into your current reality. That’s our future, your current reality kind of thing. Beliefs, that’s who you actually are. So it’s your operating system, it is your values. So your beliefs are how you take in new information and make decisions about it. So we need to be really, we need to have a deep understanding about what our beliefs are, if they’re serving us or if they’re not, and how do we go about changing that, and then what our values are, because that really is the the filter through which we make decisions about going back to how I’m going to be allocating my most important resources. So we need to know that and get really clear and that and then habits are what you do. So okay, what are my current habits? we all we all have habits that we’re doing? And I think the critical question there is, take your habits out to to their logical conclusion. So if I keep doing what I’m doing, what am I going to get? What’s the best possible scenario? If I keep doing exactly this? What’s the best thing that’s going to happen? What’s the most likely thing that’s going to happen? And what could happen? And if those are good answers, well then keep doing it. Or if you you’re ask yourself those questions. If I’m, this is me and my 20s. If I’m going out to from going out and being social. And Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, what, what, what result? Is this going to get me long term? And is that good? Is that sustainable? For me, it wasn’t the answer. The answers was a resounding no, that’s not going to get me to where I want to go. That doesn’t mean I stopped doing it altogether. It just means I stopped doing it. So frequently. It’s anyway, you make the decision, but just take it out to its logical, logical conclusion and ask yourself is this getting me what I really want? And then purpose equals why it is that you’re doing things. So I think that in order to lead a purpose driven life, there are four things which need to be present. Number one is you need to have the belief that your existence is a really, really wonderful gift. And be grateful for the life that you have. The skills that you have, the person that you are. It’s having a sense that you are worthy of the life that you want. Have the goals that you want, that are yours. Again, the only way to live how you want to know how you want to live and once you figured out that that, yes, this is what I truly want, I can have this, I’m worthy of having it. I think that even deserve it, but you’re not entitled to it. So really important differentiation there, you’re worthy of it, you deserve it. But you need to work for it, because nobody’s just gonna hand it to you. So number one is a belief that and a grateful attitude towards your existence. Number two is, I believe that the world expects more of me than it does from other people. So I think that adopting that expectation of yourself is a really critical thing. Okay, so expectation the world expects more of you than it does for other people. The next thing is we need to know what matters. super obvious, but super important, what matters? What is important in every stage of your life? What matters? Where are the opportunities for you to, to help to pick up to accept responsibility? Look at every aspect of your life, family, work, wellness, personal development, peace of mind, with with with your money, what are the things that are critical that matter? And start doing those things. We take action, to once you know what’s important, once you know what matters once you know, this is the here are the opportunities for me to be a difference maker, then you start doing those things. See, believe you are somebody who is worthy of the life that you want. That you’re grateful for the lucky fact of your existence, that you but there’s expectation that the world expects more of you than it does for other people of other people. You know, what matters, know what needs to be done. And you start doing what matters and you start doing the things that need to be done. Think that that right there is a recipe for a purpose driven life. And again, it’s really important to look at it in total, to look at your life in the really critical areas. I talk about six areas, six key areas, which I’ve talked about ad nauseam. But I don’t know that bears repeating right now. But really doing what matters. And I think that if you’re able to put all those things together, that’s the recipe right there. Getting you what you really want, and then constantly paying attention to it and constantly revisiting it. Because we as human beings have the ability to learn and take in new information and change. In different seasons of your life. You will want different things. When you’re 15 years old, you want you want a different things that when you’re 25 years old, when you’re 35 you want a different you want a different things when you’re 45, you get the idea, honor, what’s most important to you, and act in alignment with what is most important to you with what you want with your values. And then you’re going to get closer to leaving the life that you really want. And you’re worthy of that you deserve it. It’s not going to happen on its own. It requires action. It requires hard work. It requires self discipline, all things that are learnable and improvable. Just really embrace that. So not encouraging you to be a workaholic, certainly don’t want you to be addicted to anything. That’s a whole nother conversation I suppose. Remember, do your part. Doing your best
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