What I’ve Learned: Lessons from Another Year

george grombacher 0:15
So today is my birthday. I am 44 years old today. And there was this great segment in Esquire magazine that they used to do in the end, they very well may still do it called what I’ve learned. And it was very, again, very cool, like I, like I just mentioned. And it was famous people or not so famous but influential or impactful or important people sharing their perspective in a format, which was very unique. So if you’ve never checked that out, just go ahead and enter into your favorite search engine, what I’ve learned Esquire magazine, and read through it, it’s a good way to, to get some new perspective and some new learnings and have some laughs and all that good stuff. So I think I think it is really, really, really valuable to spend as much time as we can as I can. Do it just that thinking. Do we do enough time doing that? I don’t know. I think that I am trying to do more and more of it. And it’s, it’s been a benefit. So going through the exercise like this of thinking back, okay. In fact, what did I learn this year that I learned anything this year did I learn a lot this year, of the stuff that I did learn this year, what has been of the most value, as I reflect back on it, what is worth sharing. And so that’s what I wanted to do with you today. So thank you, and I’m going to wander a little bit and bounce around a little bit. But because it’s my birthday, I expect that you will extend some grace to me. So thank you in advance for that. What are things about learning is that you realize that you probably already knew a lot of this stuff that you are relearning, or rediscovering, maybe you heard something framed or presented in a different way, and it clicked for you. Or maybe you had an experience, and something you’ve always known to be true, really got it got hammered home, whatever it is, think the hit that that’s odds are, you probably already know a lot of what you need to become successful, or it’s become more successful than I mean that in every aspect of life, with whatever it is you consider your work to be your relationships, if it’s with your money, whatever it might be your your health, your fitness, your spirituality, whatever it is, that you’re trying to get good at, are you succeeding in those areas of your life? And again, spending time thinking about these things will help you to clarify, what do I already know? And what are the gaps that I need to close or fill in order to get to where I want to go? So I don’t think that that’s really groundbreaking thought but I’ve got on the paper here. So a couple of short ones. Running isn’t 100%. Terrible. I’ve discovered in my 44th year for 43rd. Year rather, it’s only 90%. Terrible. So that’s that’s a pretty dramatic improvement at 10% improvement. These to absolutely hate running started running this year. And you know, it’s not all bad, I could see myself doing more of it. Let’s see. One of the problems with having bad handwriting is often you cannot read what it is that you wrote, it’s harder to lose weight at 43 than it was at 33. It’s certainly harder to lose weight at 43 than it was at 23. So if you’re not quite at that age yet, get ready for it. Two kids are not twice as hard as one kid is. Now I’ve got two kids, six and three that just turned six and three. And to a person. When we had one, and we were expecting a second, I would ask people that say hey, how much harder is it and to a person they’d say it’s twice as hard. Well, that’s just not true. So everybody has said that, get your act together. It is harder than it is not twice as hard. So I learned that people of all ages love Bad Romance by Lady Gaga. About that. I’m gonna not this year. I’ve loved that song for the first time I heard it. Have you ever seen the video? Have you ever seen the bad romance video? If you haven’t, check it out. Also, you’re welcome.

But my kids love it. Or they did now they’re on to new Favorite song, but they love Bad Romance by Lady Gaga. I don’t know what that says about me as a parent, let you draw your own conclusions about that. I don’t think it’s the end of the world. All right, I think that that’s enough for the bubble gum. Let’s talk more about serious things that I learned. I learned this year, how much I want the truth. I want the truth. Not only that, but I think I can handle the truth. But I want 100%. What? Think that, as we’ve talked over the past couple of years, through the pandemic, about, about how best to do things that we’ve always done in a certain way? What’s the best way to educate our kids? What’s the best ways to police our communities? What’s the best way to work? Is it to be remote 100% of the time to be in the office 100% of the time? What are the best ways for us to be doing these things? And we talked, or at least, it was in the ether on so many important things. And as we are trying to make decisions for our lives about what we know or what we believe to be true, we need to know that the information that we’re receiving is true. So something that a term decentralized, that I think is probably we can say thanks to crypto assets like Bitcoin and the blockchain, but decentralizing things, specifically decentralizing financial system? Well, I think that that’s what we really yearn for and crave is a decentralized news media. Can I just get the facts? Can I just get the truth, instead of what what what we’re currently getting from the various outlets, I’m interested in knowing exactly what happened. And then I will use my brain to make a decision as to termination about whether it’s good or bad, I will, I will look at the information through my values and make my decisions about it. I do not need nor do I want the information that I received to be influenced colored, swayed, whatever, by whatever your motivations are. Because I know that they’re not my best interest that, that I’m sure of that the motivations of legacy media corporations like CNN, MSNBC, and Fox, to not have my best interest at heart at all. So I want the truth. Did I encourage you to really pursue pursue that as well, to ask yourself, what do I believe is true? What do I believe is is is right? What are what are the values that I think are most important? And the more that we can do that, the more we can make up our own minds about things? And question why it is that I am doing the things that I’m doing and making the choices that I’m making. I think that that’s all for the better. And that is a very, very, very positive thing. Fundamentally, the opposite of that is, is falling victim to and becoming an ideologue of just adopting a very, very rigid system. And not allowing for any nuance mean, the truth is somewhere in the middle, as as it always is, and multiple things can be true at the same time. That’s super possible. And minds can be changed. And I know that I’ve spent time thinking about this and certainly talking about this before, but it’s really, again, kind of come to the forefront of my mind, as I’m confident it has for you as well. And I know and I’ve learned that life and society is not a game of perfect. It’s never going to be It can’t be it never was and it never will be. There are no utopias. We all seem to want that we seem to want this perfect thing and to abhor anything that is not perfect. And to be putting things through this purity test, which which is impossible. And that is

that is a recipe for disaster and destruction. And as Jamie diamond recently said, in a testimony on Capitol Hill, that is a path to hell for, for ourselves and for the United States. And I think, I think for the world. So there’s no utopias out there. Garden of Eden wasn’t even utopia, there was a snake in there, for gosh sakes. So if they couldn’t get that one, right, well, it’s never going to be perfect for us either. But what we can figure out is what we believe to be true, and then work towards getting there. The but that brings me to the next thing that I’ve 100% learned is that trying to win at all costs is is also a horrible mistake. If we can’t engage in dialogue, and challenge one another’s ideas, challenge our own ideas. Well, that is 100% a path to destruction as well. If all you’re doing is trying to win, at all costs, that means lying through either direct falsehoods, or through omissions or whatever it might be. Terrible, it’s going to result in just terrible outcomes for everybody and everything. So, again, we probably already know this. I don’t think that that anything that I’ve shared, you know, you’re probably shaking your head, you’re like, yeah, that that that certainly does resonate with me. But how do we actually put it to work in our lives? I think that, I think I’ve learned that two of the most important things that we have, and I was just having a conversation this morning, with a guest on the podcast, talking about how we can better position young people for success. And that’s something I’m interested in doing. I’ve been, I’ve been a mentor, for a really, really, really long time, essentially my entire adult life, for the opportunity to work with young college age kids, college educated people, to be in leadership positions within organizations. And so I am interested in helping to build bridges for future generations. I’m interested in, in helping, I am wanting to help people to get what they want. And though my professionally is certainly related to money, I’m interested in helping people get what they want in every aspect of life. And the conversation I had this morning was was about agency and about intention. And we really need to celebrate, and put a put an emphasis on those two things. We individually need to protect and nurture our agency, which is our belief that we have control over our lives and our circumstances. I certainly know and appreciate that. I don’t have control over what happens to me. In fact, I have very little control over what happens to me. But I have absolute control over how I respond to things. And that’s that is a massive new learning for me. I’ve always known and always known the power of perspective, how you look at somebody makes all the difference. But I didn’t think about it like a superpower. But that’s exactly what it is. I have a super I have the ability to choose how I’m going to view the circumstances in my life, my life and the circumstances. Nobody else has that control over me. And that’s a superpower. Words have no influence over me. Don’t believe me? Think about if you didn’t, if you had no idea about a foreign language if you didn’t speak Norwegian. And a Norwegian person came up to you on the street and cursed a blue streak up and down. They said the most awful things to you in Norwegian. But you had no idea what they were saying to? Well, it would have no influence over you. Why? Because it’s just words. It’s just sounds that somebody else is making with their mouth. The only influence that that has on you is how you perceive or choose to perceive it. So embracing that power, embracing that superpower. That’s a huge unlock.

It’s true of everything in your life. You You get to choose, you have choice you have agency, over how you respond to all these things. And so much of what I see is, is people, whether they’re trying to do it or not trying to take agency away from from from groups, and people in society saying, oh, you know, poor, you, poor, you, you’re you’re at a disadvantage. Well, that’s stripping people of their agency. So I appreciate that injustice exists in the world. I appreciate that discrimination exists in the world, I appreciate that racism and hatred, bigotry, all these things exist in the world. I know I get it happens, it’s happening right now. But individually, you i, everyone has the choice can make the decision on how you’re going to respond to effects, and how you’re going to move through life, either letting things impact you right now 10 years from now, 50 years from now, or you won’t let them. And then the intention, saying hey, I am going to work and endeavor strive, do my best to do the things I’ve been talking about to learn to embrace learning, going to set the intention of of thinking, at least every day, think every day, I’m going to question why I think about things. I’m going to ask myself, What if the opposite of what I believe is true, is true? What a healthy thing that is really challenge, what your thinking and your beliefs are, why it is that you’re acting and responding in certain ways. Like, the more that we can do that, the better served that we are. Finally, two really, really, really, really powerful statements that I’ve learned. Number one, is, can you let go of the love you have for your problem? What a powerful statement, that is the question, can you let go of the love you have for your problem? I don’t know if you can or not. When we drag these problems with us, it’s like It’s like that old, you know, cartoon with the big dumbbell or the big, you know, metal ball lead ball, chained to your leg? How they used to track, you know, keep criminals from from getting away. That’s, that’s, that’s what you’re doing? Are you able to let go of the love you have for your problem? If you’re not, you’re just dragging that thing along your entire life? And the second one is, can you stop arguing for your limitations. And you stop arguing for your limitations. You’re the reason I am where I am is because of this thing that happened to me. Terrible things happen. The world is really rough place. The Buddha taught us that life is full of suffering. But he also taught that there’s a way out of it. And I think one of the ways out of it is need to stop arguing for those limitations. Need to let go of the love that you have for that problem. For your problems. Whatever they may be, make the decision. Think about. Think about what you want, instead of thinking about what you don’t want. I know this is something I was so guilty of thinking about what I don’t want, constantly thinking about that negative, negative, negative negative thing, what do I not want? But when you’re able to catch yourself doing that, instead of thinking about that, think about what do I want? How do I want to feel about the situation and then start doing it. reframe the way you’re thinking about it. Super, super powerful superpower, literally. So those are some of the things that I’ve learned. And I think that

in the spirit of talking about thinking I heard a quote recently and the quote is from Alfred North Whitehead. And he said the purpose of thinking is to let the ideas die instead of us dying. Purpose thinking is to let your ideas die instead of Udine. Okay, super powerful. So, lets you Is that let’s put that to work, you have the ability to, to think through things to do it consistently. There are these two wonderful books that I want to recommend to you. The first is the artists way, by Julia Cameron. And whether you fancy yourself a creative or not, I don’t think that matters. But it’s all about tapping into that energy. And the more you can write, like, put pen to paper, actually, physically write and not type. That’s a great way for you to think. Maybe you’re listening like Well, I think all the time. Well, if you want to think that Julia Cameron talks about is every morning, she writes three pages, she calls it her morning pages. And she just writes three pages. No matter what she might write, I have to write three pages, or three, three pages, not two or three pages. However many times it takes to fill up three pages sometimes, and most of the time she talks about, she just throws it away at the end of it. But you’ll start thinking about things. And you’ll start thinking about different topics. And when you start writing them down, that’s how you start to organize your thoughts. And then you start to organize your thoughts, you get better at it become better at thinking you become better expressing yourself. And if you can think about and express yourself and your ideas that gets you so far ahead. Such a powerful thing. And the second one is The War of Art by Steven Pressfield. Also very, very similar in nature. But coming at it from a different perspective, and certainly a different tone. So wonderful books, I can’t recommend them enough. They’re both short and easy reads. The last thing that I learned this year is how to write a book myself. So I’m super excited to to release my first book. It’s out today, here on my birthday. And it is called Be your own CFO and businesslike approach to your personal finances. So my work is all about helping people to get better at money. So they can live how they want. The whole purpose of the show is to help people get better, so they can live how they want. So I would love for you to check it out. We’d love for you to buy the book. And if you like it, I would love for you to leave a review. Thanks, as always for checking the Show out. If you like the show, it would be super grateful if you would share it. I’d be super grateful if you would leave a review for the show if you’ve not done that. And we’re also on YouTube. So we’ve got a YouTube channel if you’re aware of that or not. So if you’re interested in seeing my smiling face, as well as our guests smiling faces, you can do that there. And then obviously as always check out life blood dot Live, which is the site ton of great resources on there as well. So thanks for everything. Happy birthday to me. Pick up a copy of be your own CFO, a business like approach to personal finances. You can find the link in the notes of the show here. And here’s to another great year.