Are you taking good care of yourself?
Way too many good and kind-hearted people aren’t. We’re more concerned with caring for others, often at our own expense.
I want to advocate for you, and help you advocate for yourself, because you’re worthy of it.
Do you feel like you’re worthy of having the life you want? Have you ever asked yourself that?
Embracing our worthiness is really important. If we don’t, we’re not going to be able to make the changes necessary to be our happiest and healthiest. We won’t prioritize our needs.
And I’m not saying I want you to put your needs ahead of everyone else’s and to become selfish. While it may not feel like it, there’s enough time in the day to do everything that needs to be done. When you recognize and embrace the importance of taking care of and investing in yourself, I’m hoping you’ll put some of my ideas into practice.
Here’s what we’ll cover:
Let’s get started.
Why do it
Almost 50 million Americans are informal caregivers. Many report depression, mental health issues, as well as physical ailments. Caring for others can be extremely difficult and taxing.
And this happens at every stage and level of life. You can fall victim to it at 25 years old by working 12 hour days. It happens easily to parents who put their lives on hold and pour everything into their children. It happens to retirees who become active in nonprofit work and end up losing balance in their lives.
If you don’t prioritize your wellbeing, you’ll pay a price and so will those you’re working to support.
How to do it
In his best-selling book “12 Rules for Life” Jordan Peterson writes, “Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping.” If you were caring for someone doing everything you’re doing, what would you tell them?
The golden rule of personal finance is “Pay yourself first.” In the context of this discussion, I submit you should “Put yourself first.” Going back to the idea there’s enough time to get everything done, I’m not saying you should stop caring about others and focus only on yourself.
I am saying you should recognize you’re more valuable to the world at 100% than you are at 70%. When you put yourself first, you take care of your needs so you’re available to show up for the world at 100%.
Here are the questions to ask yourself:
What do you want? Who do you want to be? What do you want your life to be?
In service of answering those questions, you’ll need to understand your past, invest in your current-self, as well as your future-self.
Understand your past
Many of our feelings of unworthiness come from experiences in our past. As you look at your past, I want you to embrace all of it, good and bad. Think about what experiences could be keeping your feeling like you deserve the life you want.
Too often, we argue for your limitations. If we had a rough childhood, we point to it as the reason we’re where we are, or we’re doing what we’re doing. Stop arguing for your limitations. I’m not diminishing your lived experiences, but I want you to move past them and onto the life you want.
Invest in your current-self
Living how you want will require investment. This(these) investment(s) may come in the form of time, attention and money.
Invest in your future-self
We have a hard time thinking of ourselves as old people, but God-willing, we’ll all be there one day. The sooner we can start thinking and investing with that person in mind, the better our chances of making it our reality when the time comes.
I want to go through six key areas and I’d like for you to spend time thinking about what you’d like to have or do more of in each of them. Fundamentally, I want you to think about and write down your priorities for each of them.
Personal development
What do you want to learn simply for the sake of learning? Perhaps you want to learn a new language, a new hobby, or you’d like to pick up pickleball.
Wellbeing
What would you like your overall health and wellbeing to be? Think about your priorities for your mental, physical and emotional health.
Career/financial
What are your career aspirations? What are your top financial priorities?
Peace of mind
What could you do to have greater peace of mind? What would help you clear your head and get a good night’s sleep?
Community
What or who do you consider to be your community? How can you become more involved and nurture those relationships?
Family
What can you do to have better relationships with your loved ones? What would you like those relationships to look like? How would you like them to be different?
How to fit it into your life
Parkinson’s law tells us that work will expand or contract to fill the time available for its completion. Simply put, there’s enough time to get done what needs to get done.
Therefore, we need to be good stewards of our time, attention, energy and money. Getting back to the six key areas, think about what you thought about. Next, think about what you can start doing now to get on the path to making it happen.
Next, once you’ve decided what you’re priorities are, you can begin making decisions around what things are no longer your priorities. Meaning, what you’ll no longer do.
Then, you’ll need to become comfortable telling people “no.” Too often, thoughtful and empathetic people get taken advantage of because they don’t feel comfortable telling others no. If you’re going to fit everything in, you’ll need to cut certain things out.
Start putting yourself and your priorities first.
Resources mentioned
You’re worthy of the life you want. You’ll get closer to doing it once you get clear on your priorities, and start putting yourself first.
If you’d like to dig deeper, you can access our Goals and Values Courses at no cost. These will help you more fully develop your priorities.
If you’re ready to take control of your financial life, check out our DIY Financial Plan course.
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