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Talking About and Respecting Boundaries
The #1 personality trait that most people lack is healthy boundaries.
For decades, I have heard spiritual gurus and manifestation experts talk about not sharing your hopes and dremas, and keeping your ideas to yourself until they are fully developed and well underway. But I never understood why.
Then, I stumbled upon the book, Three Simple Steps by Trevor Blake. Trevor clarifies the ‘why’ in his book. He explains that every idea, dream, goal, and aspiration emits energetic frequencies into the universe.
Imagine the universe as a pond and your concept as a stone. When you throw your stone into the pond, the stone creates ripples that eventually reach the shore. The ripples hitting the shore are equivalent to your manifestation becoming a reality.
When you share your dreams, wishes, aspirations, and goals with other people, often, they have their own opinions on what they feel you can achieve. And that opinion generates a thought that also sends a vibration into the universe. Essentially, they also throw a stone in your pond. This new stone disrupts your ripples, preventing them from reaching the shore in their most perfect form.
Trevor uses an example of a young girl who had interviewed for three jobs. When she told her mother about the three jobs, her mother offered words of encouragement, but deep inside, she thought the best job was too far a reach for her daughter.
Her intentions were good. She didn’t want her daughter to set her sights too high and be disappointed. Seeing her daughter let down didn’t feel good to her. Consequently, the mother threw a stone in her daughter’s pond, disrupting the ripples. As it turned out, the daughter did not get the job of her dreams.
Was the girl’s mother responsible for this outcome? If you believe in vibrational energy, we can agree she most likely played a part.
Despite not knowing the why, I have followed this advice for many years. Hearing Trevor’s explanation drove the message home. It made complete sense. While I keep many of my business goals, projects, ideas, and aspirations to myself, I’m typically more open with my personal life.
It’s normal to want to share your dreams with others. Deep inside, we are looking for support. We want to be cheered on!
I set some new self-improvement goals in early spring. There were six items on my list that I needed to complete daily. No exceptions! Feeling that I could be more productive with my personal time, I decided to add one more. I shared these goals with a friend, not thinking much of it. A short time later, my friend asked how I was doing with my new goals. I admitted that I had not been 100% successful, but I was committed to doing better with each passing day.
That’s when it happened. My friend said, “I thought you were putting too much on your plate.” At that moment, it hit me.
She had thrown a stone into my pond. I felt let down. She didn’t believe I could reach my goals.
Does this mean you should never share? Of course not. However, I encourage you to pick and choose what you share and with whom. Make an effort to surround yourself with people who will always cheer you on, no matter how lofty your goals.
I am particularly mindful of this concept when working with clients. In creating a sacred space for them, I encourage them to tell me anything. And it’s important for me to know their goals so that I can support them. When they share, I always imagine them reaching their goals, ensuring that I never throw stones in their pond. After all, who am I to judge?
Have you ever thrown a stone in someone else’s pond?
As a dear friend of mine used to say, “Reach for the stars and settle for the moon!” I always loved this expression.
Jack Canfield, the co-author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series, tells a story about when he was first starting out. Making less than $10,000 per year, Jack set a goal to make $100,000 in the next year. Lofty? Who’s to say? Did he reach his goal? No. He only made $92,325 that year. Would you consider that a failure?
You always have a choice. You can focus on the gain or on the gap.
Failure, like fear, is an illusion. It only exists in your mind. It is not real.
If you’re doing your best (and most of us are on any given day), then you cannot fail.
Only YOU can decide what your best is. And always be kind to yourself. Avoid throwing extra stones in your own pond.
Giving up is the only sure way to fail.
– Gena Showalter
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Teresa Bruni January 30, 2023
The #1 personality trait that most people lack is healthy boundaries.
George Grombacher September 6, 2024
George Grombacher September 6, 2024
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