Patterns of Behavior with Ellie Gould

Come on What do I flip this is George G. And the time is right welcome. Today’s guest is strong and powerful le Gould le Are you ready to do this?

Ellie Gould 0:19
I’m sorry, excited George.

george grombacher 0:21
Me too. Let’s let let’s go. Ellie helps adventurers reach through any challenge to create the futures that they want. Her newest book is feeling forwards, how to become the person who has the life that you want. And she’s got a course that accompanies that is well, the fabulous future formula. I’m excited to talk with you, Ellie, tell us a little about your personal life’s more about your work. And why you do what you do.

Ellie Gould 0:48
Well, I get so passionate about helping people move from wishing and hoping to actually see the future that they want. Really evolving in front of their eyes. And we’ve we’ve had a couple of great chats previously about feeling forwards and really, in its essence, feeling forwards is being able to transport yourself into the future you want to enjoy. And there’s a formula to that, which I’m so excited to be able to present on your life blood platform, the fabulous future formula is a three step process by which you can actually design the future you want to have. And I know that that sounds i i don’t want to be too woowoo and I you know that I have so much science and quantum and whatever my books, but I thought it was was such a lovely opportunity when you’re invited me to, to really share with your your audience that there is a formula to creating your future. And it’s actually really accessible.

george grombacher 1:48
Nice. And I am I I don’t know, Lea. I just was unaware of, of woowoo stuff up until a couple of years ago, I knew that that there were people out there that that thought a lot about it. But then I have really jumped into it over the past couple of years. But I’ve always been a very formulaic person said, If you give me a step by step process, then I can usually follow it. So that’s what I love about having the opportunity to talk with you is you really bring in those together. For the people that you are working with, consistently, is there something normally that they say, You know what, I’m just I’m, I’m tired of all this hoping and wishing. And I really finally want to sink my teeth into this and make real change is the people who are just sort of exploring, how does that how does that typically work?

Ellie Gould 2:44
Look, that is such a great question. Because so often I hear in my reinvention coaching that people are waiting for something to happen to lead them to the next stage. And one of the I’ll share two stories really quickly. But one, one story. I had my book, my latest book, feeling forwards reviewed by a mommy’s blog, and she, they were having some challenges within the family from a communication perspective. And this was kind of middle way, early 21 When everyone was working from home, and they were homeschooling and all sorts of family challenges. And she shared feeling forwards. And her her nine year old boys said to her, so I don’t have to wait for something to happen before I feel confident. Because feeling forwards is always about choosing your emotions, and then harnessing the power of those emotions to change the future you want to enjoy. And she said, Well, yeah, you can actually choose to feel confident before something has happened. And she wrote the most beautiful review of the book because this this gorgeous boy went to school, and he stopped being bullied. Because kids that get bullied are usually the kids that aren’t confident. So he decided he could be confident. And then he went to school and everything changed. But so often and particularly with entrepreneurs in a similar so let’s let’s scale that up to kind of the adult version. They talk about when and i i Whatever reason I’m coaching them for whether it’s to get funding or to keep going because they’re exhausted, which is a pretty common issue. Or they want to pivot while they have to pivot as we all have during this time. And they say I talk about their health or their their finances. No, no, no, no, no, you don’t understand when my app sells 10,000 Or has 100,000 downloads downloads. When my product is you know turning over this amount of revenue, then I will get my finances order in order or when I’ve achieved those levels of success. Then I will get a personal trainer and I’ll be held Thinking it’s like no, no, no, that you’re actually putting it the wrong way around, you have to be at a higher level of personal fitness, you have to get track of your finances, and then the success arrives, not the other way around. So getting back to your question, the common issue, or the common concern that people come to me with is, well, I’m not confident enough to do this. That’s like, okay, no, we get confident, and then you do it. It’s not the other way around.

george grombacher 5:34
Such an easy trap to fall into, when I get this, then I’ll feel this way. Once I’m, you know, once I make those sales or whatever, then then I’ll have the confidence to do it. Yeah. All right. So that makes a ton of sense. So as we’re trying to, or maybe we start this process, what what is our first step?

Ellie Gould 5:58
Well, with creating your future, me and the fabulous future formula, I I’ve always been fascinated over the years with how athletes create their success, because in many ways, they they embody with one caveat, which is post success blues, which I’ll come back to, but with, with one caveat, athletes are really embodied fabulous future formula. And they create their future very easily, because now I’ve got my son, but played it at an elite level of sport, and I have a number of his friends are not professional footballers, and their lives haven’t changed. So if you take, let’s say, a teenager who aspires to be elite in sport, a boy or girl in any area, they develop a pattern of behavior, they eat a certain way, they train a certain way they make certain personal sacrifices, if they’ve got a great, you know, big game on a Sunday morning, they don’t go out late on Sunday night. And when they achieve the success they’ve been aiming for, whether that’s, you know, getting into a professional team, or winning a medal or being in a world championship, the next day, their lives don’t actually change, because they’ve been sleeping, and eating and training, and had a certain mindset for many, many years. But outside sport, once again, as you rightly pointed out, it’s so easy to fall into that trap walk, you know, when I get really successful, then I’ll have this amazing daily routine. And if you ran into a teenager, let’s say you were at a barbecue when family, friends and whatever, and you met this really interesting young person. And you said, Oh, well, you know, what are you aiming to do in life and they sit on, I’m going to be a professional sports person, then you delve a bit deeper and, and they said, Yeah, when I when my first middle, then I’m going to train really hard. I mean, you think they were dreaming, right. But in so many other areas, particularly in startups and entrepreneurship, that’s where the trap starts. So with the fabulous future formula, I have divided into three sections. And I started with uncovering your aim. And I make a lot of distinctions in my work about the difference between an aim and a goal. And as I alluded to earlier, the challenge could be with a goal, a goal can be very finite, very fixed, very defined. And taking it to the, to the extreme degree, if you like. There are so many Olympians who have started to slide into depression, while they were on the podium getting a gold medal. Because a goal can be so so fixed. And, you know, particularly in swimming in the elite American Australian swim, it’s I’ve written about this, there’s quite a lot. Whereas an aim is actually more encompassing. So if you find your aim, it’s kind of like finding your path. It’s not as defined as your why it’s not defined as a goal. But let’s say even as an elite sports person, or a business person, you could have say, a goal of making x revenue or achieving X goals. But maybe, maybe your aim is a little broader than that maybe you want to be an inspiration for people of your ethnic background, for example, or, or your gender or your socio economic background or you want to be an elite in X, but then pass it on to other people. So the first part of your favorites future formula is really looking at something that is is encompasses an aim, and yes, you’ve got you choose a particular area of expertise, but it has an element of contribution to it. And the next stage, the second stage is to really under Stand your inner justification because let’s face it, without whatever field it’s in, there’s the skinny boy or girl who dreams of being something. And quite often they’re not the fastest, the cleverest, the strongest, the best connected, whatever. But they can hang on to that. The reason why they want to achieve something big, more than anyone else. I mean, I’m a huge Tom Brady fan. And I think, what was it, he was 190/9 Pick. It was something like that. Yeah, I mean,

he had an inner justification. And I also read, and I know you geek out on this stuff, too. But I also read, he read into the manager of the team that picked him and he said, I’m the best decision you’ve ever made. He had his inner justification, really, really nailed. And you’re in a justification. Whether it’s a startup, it’s a side hustle, you just want to do something more, if you can uncover that. That’s what keeps you going when everything falls apart. And you You and I are both entrepreneurs in our own space. And you know that we’ve both been through everything that could go wrong does go wrong. And it’s your either justification that that just keeps you going. No matter what. And final Yeah, I

george grombacher 11:25
appreciate that. Is that? Is that is is there danger slash wisdom in having that be? Like a chip on your shoulder? Like I’m going to show you versus I’m going to help the world? Is it just dependent?

Ellie Gould 11:43
Oh, great question. Yes, because it has to extend beyond. And that’s where kind of the post success blues come in. And it was, it’s so great. You asked that question, because I was I went for a walk with my husband today. And he was telling me about another podcast you’d listen to were in Dubai, no, I’m sorry, I don’t know the name of the baseball player. But it was a very well known baseball player who lost his dad at the age of nine who’d been was a policeman I think, had been shot in the line of duty. And, and this, this little boy decided that he was going to become a baseball player, and he was going to buy as my house. And that was that was his dream. That was his inner justification. But the challenge with that was that yes, he became incredibly successful. He got I think, 15 million in his first sign up, he bought his mother house, and then everything fell apart, because that was the limitation of his dream, even though it’s an incredible dream, and obviously, he was incredibly successful. It didn’t extend beyond that. And so then, his professional life fell apart and is rebuilt, and I’ve done some amazing things. But if you’re in a justification is completely self absorbed. And I do look, I have met some incredibly successful and very wealthy people who have had that goal, but quite often, I find that it’s not sustainable. Because you run out of steam, because there’s only so much stuff you can buy. And if you have if it’s if it’s a very defined goal, rather than a bigger aim, then you can get stuck with limitations of that. Got it? Yeah. What’s next? Well, finally, it’s the circumstances and activities and this is almost really circles back to the to the athlete example of I mean, you wouldn’t take anyone seriously that’s it. Oh, yeah. When I when I when a big race, I’ll train really hard. Be grateful worked out that way. And it’s really as you are, I my work is obsessed with with the power of emotions, and it’s really building a story in your mind and having a super clear picture as to how you will behave and what your life will be like. When you have a you are living your aim. I love it. When I start I start with a new client and I talk about and they share with me their their hopes and their dreams and it’s so exciting. And then I say, Okay, what did you do yesterday? And the first thing they said to me, Oh, well, yesterday wasn’t a normal day. And I go Yeah, yeah, the secret is there’s no such thing as a normal day and normal day and never ever happens. I know you’ve got two young gorgeous boys in your life as well as, you know, multiple businesses and there’s particularly when you’ve got a family there’s nothing like sitting down your calendar, anything. Today’s sorted and just Something happens, it just does. So it’s like, it’s not just designing the circumstances and activities of someone who has the life you want to enjoy. You also have to think through, well, if I do get derailed by, you know, a domestic crisis, or my software platform collapses, or whatever else, how am I going to deal with that? Because that actually defines what a successful person does in terms of dealing with the fact that doesn’t go smoothly. What am I? What is my pattern of behavior? What is my attitude? How do I pick myself up? And in the fabulous feature formula I have? I define, there’s 21 different activities in what we do every day. So it’s like, what do you watch? What do you read? What do you talk about? Who do you speak with?

What things do you look at everything that we actually do, and I divided it into three categories. The first is the optimal. And the second is okay, if things are a bit tough, then the third is stressed. Because you can go home and have an incredibly stressful day. And if you haven’t planned for what is the best thing to do, when you’ve had an incredibly stressful day, you will, you’ll do an activity that’s not optimal. To help you where you want to go or does is not in alignment with the success you want to enjoy. I remember years ago, I’ve been so lucky to have Tony Robbins as a mentor. But something happened and my day was crazy. And I got really frustrated because I hadn’t had a plan to do with it. And I said to my husband, well, I’m sure I’m sure Tony doesn’t just sit and flick through the television and see what he’s gonna plan, I need a plan for when this happens. So I do have a plan for when I’ve had a really, really average day, I have a plan for what I’m going to read or what I’m going to watch, that still keeps me in alignment with the future I want to enjoy. Otherwise, if we don’t create that plan, and that’s where having a formula is so important. If we don’t create that plan, it’s all too easy to go to fall into destructive behavior. They look holiday stocks, I’ll just do whatever. And then the next morning, you don’t feel so great about yourself.

george grombacher 17:34
Yeah, there’s no doubt about that. I think that we’ve every single human who’s ever been a human can say, yeah, yeah, I’ve definitely fallen victim to that. Or maybe I do that all the time, whatever the case may be. And if I don’t know, if I don’t recognize that I do it, or if I’m not even aware of it, then I can’t catch myself doing that. So like that. That’s great. What a great process.

Ellie Gould 17:56
Yeah, yeah. You know, and, look, it’s really the ability to I mean, we all so much has written about resilience. And resilience, obviously, is something that really important to keep us all going at the moment. But it’s really handy to have some structured tools for when you are feeling completely horrible to think, Okay, well, I’ll give myself a break. And I’ll do this activity, which is not maybe quite as bad as, as bad activity. But overall, the most interesting thing and I know we we’ve spoken about this previously, and I love this example, because for your listeners, my husband and I separately have a financial advice and accounting business. And we’ve spoken previously about if a client can’t, in their imagination, see themselves getting older, they struggled to save for that. So this is also with the fabulous future formula. There’s a process for seeing yourself in the future. If you can’t actually imagine what you will be watching, looking at spending your time, what time will you get up in the morning. I mean, it fascinates me when I say to some entrepreneurs, as Okay, well when your your apps got you 5 million downloads or whatever. What time will you be getting up in the morning? Oh, wow, I’ll be getting to five o’clock because I’ll have these international calls and I’ll have my green juice or whatever. Why are you doing that now? And they look at me and it’s like, well, that’s what you should be doing. Now. If you want to create that future you have to start living in the present. So apart from the fact that you do your alarm goes off and it’s dark. There’s actually nothing stopping you from doing that right now.

george grombacher 19:50
Amen. Go get that green juice. Get up at five. Let’s go, Ellie. I love it. So I you I’m super grateful for you coming back on where can people? Where can they find the fabulous future formula?

Ellie Gould 20:07
Well, the best place, of course, is on your platform. And I am super excited about the live blog platform, I was saying to you off air, and I’m really happy to repeat it on it that it’s such a quality platform you have pulled together such a diversity of topics, but also some really amazing contributors. I’m so excited, you’ve asked me to be part of that. So certainly, the fabulous future formula will be on that platform. And I’m delighted to be to be associated with you, George, you’re such a such a genuine, authentic person that and you’ve worked so hard to create this community. So I’m, I’m more than delighted to be part of it. Apart from that, Elizabeth gold.com. I love hanging out on Instagram, at Elizabeth gold underscore, and I have a podcast of my own feeling forwards the podcast, on Apple, Spotify and everywhere else as well.

george grombacher 21:06
Love it. Well, if you enjoyed this as much as I did, show your appreciation and share today’s show with a friend who also appreciates good ideas, check out the fabulous future formula. And you can find that on Ellie’s site, but also the lifeblood platform and I’ll list all those in the notes of the show and check out the podcast if I turn on Instagram and figure out what your aim is figure out what it is and why it is that you want to do that and then figure out what you need to be doing today to become that version of yourself. Thanks, Kelly.

Ellie Gould 21:43
Oh, it’s a pleasure, George. Thank you.

george grombacher 21:46
And till next time, keep fighting the good fight as we’re all in this together.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai